Solemn smile
Solemn face
Please don't waste your feminine beguiles
naivete to accept thee any which way
people love thee when you are beautiful
but don't see what is beneath
suffering and fear
and whatever else
and yet here we are running near
Solemn face
I won't disgrace
myself by giving myself away
to that place
of ass kissing
ass giving
to another unwitting face
another big name
another snotty upper hand card holder
when you give nothing in return
when you don't deserve that space.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Over
The boys of the valley
Who's glory days are over
Long gone disjointed tattooed parlor misfortune
Gone are the days in the clover
The boys of the valley in their rattlin machines
A tough guy appearance
Big and burly and mean
And the girls of the valley with curvaceous swinging misleading
Where you headed your way down to death row
Beheading the way down to death row and destruction
Long haired sex goddess ladies swaying hips
big boots and Marilyn lips
Gentleman's club on every corner
Sipping some beer with your pizza supper
Yummy, ignorant bliss
Tough tatted valley boys who once were a misnomer
Desired and outnumbered now a plethora you are all over
A dime a dozen a million to one you are all over
On top of the world on top of the busty girls
Charming smiles and chiseled chins
Boys of the valley, once you were wanted all over
Who's glory days are over
Long gone disjointed tattooed parlor misfortune
Gone are the days in the clover
The boys of the valley in their rattlin machines
A tough guy appearance
Big and burly and mean
And the girls of the valley with curvaceous swinging misleading
Where you headed your way down to death row
Beheading the way down to death row and destruction
Long haired sex goddess ladies swaying hips
big boots and Marilyn lips
Gentleman's club on every corner
Sipping some beer with your pizza supper
Yummy, ignorant bliss
Tough tatted valley boys who once were a misnomer
Desired and outnumbered now a plethora you are all over
A dime a dozen a million to one you are all over
On top of the world on top of the busty girls
Charming smiles and chiseled chins
Boys of the valley, once you were wanted all over
Wanted all over
Swimming pool patio party down by the wash
Driving to the BBQ in your Range Rover
Hairdresser girl, Bartending ladies,
Bouncer Valley Boy
But 'tis sad but true.
The days of the Valley are over.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Any real Sense.
Gotta write one more poem about it
Even though my piano came tuned
And I don't think it's gonna happen anymore
I just can't imagine it would happen anymore
After you sold everything you had
everything you'd ever owned
Another failed band
Another talented artist
I sleep at night knowing
I did whatever I could to do.
I followed my dream the passion
I followed myself through
I can only do it for me
So I'm throwing it away
I'm throwing it all away
Chalking it up to a bad investment
I failed myself in this way
All I can say is I believed
And what a great journey it has been
tremendous growth and a sigh of relief
that from here on out
and here within
I'm throwing away all the plans we made
all the plans I believed in
I'm throwing them all away
And starting a new beginning.
Not attached to these investments
Though sadness and letting go is real
my eyes and heart will forever look fondly
in these vision I once could feel
I now look to a new dawn
a sunrise I can sense
Towards making sense
Though non of it much ever made any real sense.
Even though my piano came tuned
And I don't think it's gonna happen anymore
I just can't imagine it would happen anymore
After you sold everything you had
everything you'd ever owned
Another failed band
Another talented artist
I sleep at night knowing
I did whatever I could to do.
I followed my dream the passion
I followed myself through
I can only do it for me
So I'm throwing it away
I'm throwing it all away
Chalking it up to a bad investment
I failed myself in this way
All I can say is I believed
And what a great journey it has been
tremendous growth and a sigh of relief
that from here on out
and here within
I'm throwing away all the plans we made
all the plans I believed in
I'm throwing them all away
And starting a new beginning.
Not attached to these investments
Though sadness and letting go is real
my eyes and heart will forever look fondly
in these vision I once could feel
I now look to a new dawn
a sunrise I can sense
Towards making sense
Though non of it much ever made any real sense.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Letting Life Get in the Way
And I forgot the empty promises
so familiar
I forgot the bitter matches evil stares
so peculiar
I forgot the ugly malaise
the illness from within
I forgot how hard I tried
even got sick
Time and time again
I had a momentary weakness
they say Venus is retrograde in Scorpio
so here I am perhaps running back
to places maybe I should not go
And maybe I'll just venture alone
Don't want to rely on prison smiles
Judging and cold
And this running to familiar arms
is bitter and old
But take it for what it is worth
The streets of foreign cities call
After hours pubs, where style and art may crawl
Keep the smiles to a minimum
You're on another road
Keep your smiles for the recognized
the ones who doth behold
This time I'm letting go. I've thrown the pictures away
This time I'm getting old. Letting life get in the way.
so familiar
I forgot the bitter matches evil stares
so peculiar
I forgot the ugly malaise
the illness from within
I forgot how hard I tried
even got sick
Time and time again
I had a momentary weakness
they say Venus is retrograde in Scorpio
so here I am perhaps running back
to places maybe I should not go
And maybe I'll just venture alone
Don't want to rely on prison smiles
Judging and cold
And this running to familiar arms
is bitter and old
But take it for what it is worth
The streets of foreign cities call
After hours pubs, where style and art may crawl
Keep the smiles to a minimum
You're on another road
Keep your smiles for the recognized
the ones who doth behold
This time I'm letting go. I've thrown the pictures away
This time I'm getting old. Letting life get in the way.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
My Stupid Memory Faded
I cannot remember the remembering day
I cannot the remember the point
the hands slowly stopped prying
apart my seams
I can't seem to remember the irresponsibility
I cannot seem to remember the insanity
I can only remember the handshake
After that the rest was stupid.
And in the end all of this is stupid.
And in the darkest hour of the night
Alone
Who doesn't want to become one with the night
Taking death by its hands
Into the emptiness
Like my stupid memory which faded
Anyway
I cannot the remember the point
the hands slowly stopped prying
apart my seams
I can't seem to remember the irresponsibility
I cannot seem to remember the insanity
I can only remember the handshake
After that the rest was stupid.
And in the end all of this is stupid.
And in the darkest hour of the night
Alone
Who doesn't want to become one with the night
Taking death by its hands
Into the emptiness
Like my stupid memory which faded
Anyway
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
He cannot display unto you.
He came through like a storm lighting up the whole sky.
But don't forget the rain are the very tears from his eyes.
And the aftermath is his belly in disguise.
Ravaging ingesting that which he doesn't despise.
For despot is King in his well.
From which the emptiness doth swell.
Girls, Don't let the rhythm fool you,
the earth shaking disown you,
for he doesn't even know you,
no he doesn't even owe you.
Your momentary lapse of cognizance won't save you.
Know that it will only slave you.
Know it will deeply enslave you.
His ratchet and racket is meant to disarm you.
His rickety rocket is meant to maim you
His antithesis army will engage and claim you.
But he cannot love you.
He has his ways but he cannot display unto you.
He cannot give in, he cannot give in
And his love is designed to despair you from within.
Designed to desiccate you within.
His anger will always get the best of him
and he may think it, act it, live it
but in reality he'll never win.
But don't forget the rain are the very tears from his eyes.
And the aftermath is his belly in disguise.
Ravaging ingesting that which he doesn't despise.
For despot is King in his well.
From which the emptiness doth swell.
Girls, Don't let the rhythm fool you,
the earth shaking disown you,
for he doesn't even know you,
no he doesn't even owe you.
Your momentary lapse of cognizance won't save you.
Know that it will only slave you.
Know it will deeply enslave you.
His ratchet and racket is meant to disarm you.
His rickety rocket is meant to maim you
His antithesis army will engage and claim you.
But he cannot love you.
He has his ways but he cannot display unto you.
He cannot give in, he cannot give in
And his love is designed to despair you from within.
Designed to desiccate you within.
His anger will always get the best of him
and he may think it, act it, live it
but in reality he'll never win.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
His Hero
There was so much left to save, but with limited resources his heart just didn't have the strength.
He left with his tail tucked deeply between his legs.
And what he left behind was a prayer that from this we would all grow.
Staring out onto the street, curled up with his legs under. This furry friend we've all made. I imagine he is waiting, looking, and wondering why his best friend, his savior, his hero, rarely comes home anymore. And for him my soul bleeds.
When you take a wounded soul under your wings, for the betterment of man, of our world, at what point is it okay to say no, no more, it's time to let go.
It's one thing to shelter a child from a storm, a whole other to shelter a grown man
from the path, his road. And to bring in this furry creature into our home, who would one day become this pillar of sadness for me, well that was something we could never have known.
For this, my little four-footed whiskered critter, is where my heart suffers most.
He left with his tail tucked deeply between his legs.
And what he left behind was a prayer that from this we would all grow.
Staring out onto the street, curled up with his legs under. This furry friend we've all made. I imagine he is waiting, looking, and wondering why his best friend, his savior, his hero, rarely comes home anymore. And for him my soul bleeds.
When you take a wounded soul under your wings, for the betterment of man, of our world, at what point is it okay to say no, no more, it's time to let go.
It's one thing to shelter a child from a storm, a whole other to shelter a grown man
from the path, his road. And to bring in this furry creature into our home, who would one day become this pillar of sadness for me, well that was something we could never have known.
For this, my little four-footed whiskered critter, is where my heart suffers most.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
The Princess who kissed the Frog
My feet hurt
for standing too long
in the shower line
waiting for you
to pick up the phone
on the other end
it rang rang rang to no avail
And she's survived the rain storms all to well
But she looks to me I know she does
I can see
and when the month ends
it will be just she and me
her and I
me and she, no three
What tree, down ward facing dog,
God do you believe?
I dare not ask the sexy slut fiends
I can barely force myself to stay awake
Barely staying alive
sustained by this life support
breaking into a sweat
filling up with vomit
Here on this vine
drinking this wine
where my soul is gradually being cleaned out
Two years and counting
But there it is
I got what I want
You always get what you want
whether it be
la boheme, ladies and art
and now
It is time to move on.
Some iridescent plane to take you far away from this place
Some incandescant town nearby a magical fairy tale space
I woke up thinking
Yes, I think its time.
For yet another game a magic spell to cast
between my teeth
some different sheaths
But you cannot run away from yourself
You can only run towards the truth
You can run into the woods
But chances are you are too big for the trees
So pack a toothbrush
We're going abroad
To find the Princess who created a Prince when she kissed the Frog.
for standing too long
in the shower line
waiting for you
to pick up the phone
on the other end
it rang rang rang to no avail
And she's survived the rain storms all to well
But she looks to me I know she does
I can see
and when the month ends
it will be just she and me
her and I
me and she, no three
What tree, down ward facing dog,
God do you believe?
I dare not ask the sexy slut fiends
I can barely force myself to stay awake
Barely staying alive
sustained by this life support
breaking into a sweat
filling up with vomit
Here on this vine
drinking this wine
where my soul is gradually being cleaned out
Two years and counting
But there it is
I got what I want
You always get what you want
whether it be
la boheme, ladies and art
and now
It is time to move on.
Some iridescent plane to take you far away from this place
Some incandescant town nearby a magical fairy tale space
I woke up thinking
Yes, I think its time.
For yet another game a magic spell to cast
between my teeth
some different sheaths
But you cannot run away from yourself
You can only run towards the truth
You can run into the woods
But chances are you are too big for the trees
So pack a toothbrush
We're going abroad
To find the Princess who created a Prince when she kissed the Frog.
Thursday, September 02, 2010
I vow to suffer
I'm sorry I shouldve come alone
My fear it taketh over
Next time I'll know better
So I say
Today was a debut of sorts
Birds of a feather
You would've been an outsider
But still I wished all together
Even considered
Fear completely taken over
Then it was over
Much better to suffer
From now on I vow to suffer
From here on out I vow to suffer
My fear it taketh over
Next time I'll know better
So I say
Today was a debut of sorts
Birds of a feather
You would've been an outsider
But still I wished all together
Even considered
Fear completely taken over
Then it was over
Much better to suffer
From now on I vow to suffer
From here on out I vow to suffer
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Killing Time and Sanity Slips
Shears in the nursery, life by a wasps nest.
hoe weeds then potted cactus in the rough.
Ladies staring me down in their langley loving gowns
friends so many who don't frown
I can sense it Don't get me down
Licking things together we wander
Family fidelity this town
Slipping sliding I'm gyrating under
I don't mean to scare there
But a Change is abound
Freaking myself out
Alone and ablunder
Is there room to have you living here under
The same roof tin roof Rustin
Would you care sleepovers and other boys
trustin the gardenin the pullin of weeds
Laughter and love helps me with the things that I need
But generous love will batten down the hatches at the beach
And leave me in the desert cultivating in this heat
Even though I can hear the girls sayin no girl no
Freedom amidst the memories makes it bittersweet and sanity slips
That's when I want recognizance near
That's when I miss recognizance here
Even though I say it's over my dear, there is something in my heart
In this house, that tells me
In order to be, I cannot go on living here.
Alone with the kitty. Who makes me sad and lonely.
These bohemian streets.
Though I love the thought. I'm only
killing time here.
hoe weeds then potted cactus in the rough.
Ladies staring me down in their langley loving gowns
friends so many who don't frown
I can sense it Don't get me down
Licking things together we wander
Family fidelity this town
Slipping sliding I'm gyrating under
I don't mean to scare there
But a Change is abound
Freaking myself out
Alone and ablunder
Is there room to have you living here under
The same roof tin roof Rustin
Would you care sleepovers and other boys
trustin the gardenin the pullin of weeds
Laughter and love helps me with the things that I need
But generous love will batten down the hatches at the beach
And leave me in the desert cultivating in this heat
Even though I can hear the girls sayin no girl no
Freedom amidst the memories makes it bittersweet and sanity slips
That's when I want recognizance near
That's when I miss recognizance here
Even though I say it's over my dear, there is something in my heart
In this house, that tells me
In order to be, I cannot go on living here.
Alone with the kitty. Who makes me sad and lonely.
These bohemian streets.
Though I love the thought. I'm only
killing time here.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The Owner of Encino
He's gutting windows and popping pills
He's got seven children and golden gills
He's got wings coming out of his shoulder
And a belt made of steel
I'm sad and sickened and horrified at once
He said he'd make it all better and continued to pounce
His time is drawing nearer to an end he's not 27 anymore
By this age things must be underway you are getting kind of old
He's up to his old habits shopping nabisco biscuit
He's got no insight so very little control
He's jaded and he's bitter
He's not willing to own
It's empty where his heart once stood
His children are alone
A caregiver he could've been but unwilling to conform
even a little bit to grow away from where he's gone
Unwilling to let go
The kids neglected with no clothes
I'm shopping for things to fill up this
empty perception of a basket
But then I turned the corner
and found the shopping cart was full.
I am always willing to find ways to avoid the eternal casket
When the empire of Encino falls
I'll take it to the hills.
He's got seven children and golden gills
He's got wings coming out of his shoulder
And a belt made of steel
I'm sad and sickened and horrified at once
He said he'd make it all better and continued to pounce
His time is drawing nearer to an end he's not 27 anymore
By this age things must be underway you are getting kind of old
He's up to his old habits shopping nabisco biscuit
He's got no insight so very little control
He's jaded and he's bitter
He's not willing to own
It's empty where his heart once stood
His children are alone
A caregiver he could've been but unwilling to conform
even a little bit to grow away from where he's gone
Unwilling to let go
The kids neglected with no clothes
I'm shopping for things to fill up this
empty perception of a basket
But then I turned the corner
and found the shopping cart was full.
I am always willing to find ways to avoid the eternal casket
When the empire of Encino falls
I'll take it to the hills.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Hollow Fear Pain Grind
Who are those people I've played in rock bands with?
Some olympic medal souls cracking of a whip
Stealing of hearts, bodies and mind, including mine
left over hollow fear pain grind
God I followed with all my heart
One foot behind the other
Deliberate head down smart
Marching willing purposefully blind
Swallowing masterful dysfunction arrogance
Drinking it down with wine
I've begged and begged each and everyone to stay
Down on my knees, face tear-stained
But in the end I could not hold what was not
meant to stay
Some say
Part fabulous, party dirty
one day clean,
Next day tattered, disheveled, rock n' roll queen
Living some circus life vagabond dream
I haven't managed to love you the right way
We haven't managed to meet in the middle
half way
She gives - we take, You take - I leave but nothing,
nowhere, never, no how, never land seems to breathe
Giving soft prodding along
Diligently loving gilded and gray
But I feel accomplished
I gave it my all
I'm not saying stop, goodbye
Nothing like that this fall
For seasons change and feelings
fold
old mold or turn to gold
In the spring
we shed our skin
me and love, rock 'n roll soul
Will live on and reconvene
But I am letting go of the body
for that which too tightly
I could not control.
Some olympic medal souls cracking of a whip
Stealing of hearts, bodies and mind, including mine
left over hollow fear pain grind
God I followed with all my heart
One foot behind the other
Deliberate head down smart
Marching willing purposefully blind
Swallowing masterful dysfunction arrogance
Drinking it down with wine
I've begged and begged each and everyone to stay
Down on my knees, face tear-stained
But in the end I could not hold what was not
meant to stay
Some say
Part fabulous, party dirty
one day clean,
Next day tattered, disheveled, rock n' roll queen
Living some circus life vagabond dream
I haven't managed to love you the right way
We haven't managed to meet in the middle
half way
She gives - we take, You take - I leave but nothing,
nowhere, never, no how, never land seems to breathe
Giving soft prodding along
Diligently loving gilded and gray
But I feel accomplished
I gave it my all
I'm not saying stop, goodbye
Nothing like that this fall
For seasons change and feelings
fold
old mold or turn to gold
In the spring
we shed our skin
me and love, rock 'n roll soul
Will live on and reconvene
But I am letting go of the body
for that which too tightly
I could not control.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Spit
My life was turned upside down
I pushed it this way into the wind
drinking into oblivion
like vermin
I drink your spit
Like venom I drink then spit.
I pushed it this way into the wind
drinking into oblivion
like vermin
I drink your spit
Like venom I drink then spit.
Monday, July 12, 2010
The King
Black rags and brown sacks
Feeling like a paper bag
So freshen the skin peel the layers
brush it in brush it back
Doesn't really change the dream of legs and the taste of sin
Or the skin I'm in
Tears flooding this is too unbearable
Blood, skin tough but thin
and someone isn't going to win
Nope, no one wins.
We all lose if you walk away son
Young and feminine
Woman who art thou in control or so it seems
But tears will flow within all of us today
Solar eclipses fascinating
Change is in the wind.
Driving up the freeway you will be here soon
And we will drink drink drink
And say things good things bad things.
And decisions will be made,
Contracts drawn up
Feelings sated, brushed under the rug
Who will be the king?
Who is really the king?
No one is fornicating with consent
because after all, it is just a song.
An idea, a concept whose time has long gone.
Feeling like a paper bag
So freshen the skin peel the layers
brush it in brush it back
Doesn't really change the dream of legs and the taste of sin
Or the skin I'm in
Tears flooding this is too unbearable
Blood, skin tough but thin
and someone isn't going to win
Nope, no one wins.
We all lose if you walk away son
Young and feminine
Woman who art thou in control or so it seems
But tears will flow within all of us today
Solar eclipses fascinating
Change is in the wind.
Driving up the freeway you will be here soon
And we will drink drink drink
And say things good things bad things.
And decisions will be made,
Contracts drawn up
Feelings sated, brushed under the rug
Who will be the king?
Who is really the king?
No one is fornicating with consent
because after all, it is just a song.
An idea, a concept whose time has long gone.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Bunny Prophecies
I liked what the bunny said
He told me to laugh it off, and he even called me bitch.
Don't get so bogged down in the shoulds and the guilt.
My money may be funny, bitch, but I ain't no funny bunny.
Live your life and do what feels right.
Live and let live.
I told him, I guess I feel bad.
I'm a gullible little snitch
I feel like I should punish the liars
the left me out on the stitch.
He laughed and said you are the liar
Lying to your self in your own britch.
So what? I'm going out tonight
Yeah, like you do every night
But I still feel bad
Goddammit bitch why?
Fear of the prophecies of bad karma and jam
Fear of getting a lil bunny poop on my hand
Fear of getting a lil bunny fur in my lam
Milk behind the ears he proclaimed
Fear not the bunny slam.
Fear not the extinction of man
For one day we will all float away
like dusts and gusts and my floppy bunny ears
will ride in the must
Stop being dispicable living in disgust.
This is your time to be free.
In Bunny You Must Trust.
He told me to laugh it off, and he even called me bitch.
Don't get so bogged down in the shoulds and the guilt.
My money may be funny, bitch, but I ain't no funny bunny.
Live your life and do what feels right.
Live and let live.
I told him, I guess I feel bad.
I'm a gullible little snitch
I feel like I should punish the liars
the left me out on the stitch.
He laughed and said you are the liar
Lying to your self in your own britch.
So what? I'm going out tonight
Yeah, like you do every night
But I still feel bad
Goddammit bitch why?
Fear of the prophecies of bad karma and jam
Fear of getting a lil bunny poop on my hand
Fear of getting a lil bunny fur in my lam
Milk behind the ears he proclaimed
Fear not the bunny slam.
Fear not the extinction of man
For one day we will all float away
like dusts and gusts and my floppy bunny ears
will ride in the must
Stop being dispicable living in disgust.
This is your time to be free.
In Bunny You Must Trust.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Crept
Heavenly stitched damn my leg itches
Fingers Matilda, you seep through these witches
Vodka and wine enthralled in some other time
Wasting away behind walls of your sublime
It was easier back then
wall to wall carpet and velvet couches
no curtains had we
some velour blinds and small kitchen
So easy when the lights went out
So easy when the dark crept in
I just did did it in
Now I just go out and don't say a thing.
Fingers Matilda, you seep through these witches
Vodka and wine enthralled in some other time
Wasting away behind walls of your sublime
It was easier back then
wall to wall carpet and velvet couches
no curtains had we
some velour blinds and small kitchen
So easy when the lights went out
So easy when the dark crept in
I just did did it in
Now I just go out and don't say a thing.
Thursday, July 01, 2010
In Letters
In letters to your God
Looking him straight in the face
Can you really relinquish this history
Can you really save you from grace?
I'm older than you think
I've been here for centuries
I've seen the Titanic sink and was reborn to tell this tale
Over and over I've seen this ocean tidal waves and all
Over and over I've sailed these seas
Up until this final fall
I can tell you that it doesn't exist if only in our hearts
I can tell you that my soul, so old will be strong
will never fall apart
In letters to my sister and my brothers I act desperately young
But age is in the wisdom for writings too strong harm
When the closest lady becomes willing to her spawn
And the ghost of Jesus past comes deadly after dawn
The kitten stretches out his paw and lashes out so fast
You forget inside a tiger is hiding the worse is yet to come.
Looking him straight in the face
Can you really relinquish this history
Can you really save you from grace?
I'm older than you think
I've been here for centuries
I've seen the Titanic sink and was reborn to tell this tale
Over and over I've seen this ocean tidal waves and all
Over and over I've sailed these seas
Up until this final fall
I can tell you that it doesn't exist if only in our hearts
I can tell you that my soul, so old will be strong
will never fall apart
In letters to my sister and my brothers I act desperately young
But age is in the wisdom for writings too strong harm
When the closest lady becomes willing to her spawn
And the ghost of Jesus past comes deadly after dawn
The kitten stretches out his paw and lashes out so fast
You forget inside a tiger is hiding the worse is yet to come.
Monday, June 21, 2010
We Are Suicide Kings
I've been obsessed with sex and I've been obsessed with danger
I've gone over to the dark side with women
I've sucked the life and put death into men
But what I don't believe I've done
is put my hand on the trigger of your gun.
I've kissed the hands of aristocrats and I've licked the lips of strangers
I've put my heart on a platter for a man, a woman and their daughter
I've sucked the wax off of a hot candle for a whore
I've kicked the gut in on an empty pathetic bore.
But what I have yet to do is sink deep into your mission.
What I have yet to do is commit this ultimate sin of treason.
I've broken up homes, and families, including mine.
I've broken up marriages and alliances with wine.
I've thrown away my honesty, and faith
To get closer to your truth
I've even drank your so called lemonade from the fountain of your youth
And though most days I believe you, in this war that you are wielding.
I know I'm fighting the fight for humanity dead and unyielding.
The end is near, the end is here
I'm going down with a fight
I'm gonna stomp the front lines
I've got my finger on the trigger
I've got my finger on the trigger
They won't be able to stop me
or hold me down tonight
I'm going down either way
I'm going down with a fight
This is not just edgy, this is not just racy
This is not just some political controvertiality
tempting racism, sexism, homophobia or fucking neutrality
This is the real shit and we're going down with a fight
This is the damnedest shit, cuz we believe in what is right.
I've gone over to the dark side with women
I've sucked the life and put death into men
But what I don't believe I've done
is put my hand on the trigger of your gun.
I've kissed the hands of aristocrats and I've licked the lips of strangers
I've put my heart on a platter for a man, a woman and their daughter
I've sucked the wax off of a hot candle for a whore
I've kicked the gut in on an empty pathetic bore.
But what I have yet to do is sink deep into your mission.
What I have yet to do is commit this ultimate sin of treason.
I've broken up homes, and families, including mine.
I've broken up marriages and alliances with wine.
I've thrown away my honesty, and faith
To get closer to your truth
I've even drank your so called lemonade from the fountain of your youth
And though most days I believe you, in this war that you are wielding.
I know I'm fighting the fight for humanity dead and unyielding.
The end is near, the end is here
I'm going down with a fight
I'm gonna stomp the front lines
I've got my finger on the trigger
I've got my finger on the trigger
They won't be able to stop me
or hold me down tonight
I'm going down either way
I'm going down with a fight
This is not just edgy, this is not just racy
This is not just some political controvertiality
tempting racism, sexism, homophobia or fucking neutrality
This is the real shit and we're going down with a fight
This is the damnedest shit, cuz we believe in what is right.
Friday, June 04, 2010
This Girl
On the day that I leave
6 months from now
I will say to you
You saved me from insanity
For the last 8 months
You were my sunlight
The bright light at the end of the tunnel
You kept me sane in my darkest days
You were the sweetest moments peace of sacred love and being
A sacred temple in my heart
And on that bittersweet day in June
I swore to keep you safe from the ugliness of my heart
I swore to shelter you from the darkness of my world
The darkest part of my soul
My desperation and self harm
Aggression and anger
I swear to bear the grunt of this sad girl
And on this bittersweet day in June
I vow to feed you from the sweetest part of my heart
Smiles and gentle peaceful songs
For bearing the brunt of this sad girl
For tearing away the layers
Returning me to sweet innocence
Laughter joys of childhood
For sharing the flowers of this world
6 months from now
I will say to you
You saved me from insanity
For the last 8 months
You were my sunlight
The bright light at the end of the tunnel
You kept me sane in my darkest days
You were the sweetest moments peace of sacred love and being
A sacred temple in my heart
And on that bittersweet day in June
I swore to keep you safe from the ugliness of my heart
I swore to shelter you from the darkness of my world
The darkest part of my soul
My desperation and self harm
Aggression and anger
I swear to bear the grunt of this sad girl
And on this bittersweet day in June
I vow to feed you from the sweetest part of my heart
Smiles and gentle peaceful songs
For bearing the brunt of this sad girl
For tearing away the layers
Returning me to sweet innocence
Laughter joys of childhood
For sharing the flowers of this world
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sex in Death
Loving you loving me in emptiness in death
I want to feel you
saying your last words
heaving you last breast
breathing your last breath
Under me as we breathe
I want to see a burning ocean
of ours so deep
In a house full of artists I create
In a home with a family you wait
for night to fall
so you can escape.
I want to slide into your deep sleep
Underneath a veil of heartbreak you keep
secrets from me, from her, from the rest of the world
hiding your sorrow, sadness, desire for one girl
who'd rather follow the footsteps of the dead
waking you up your sex in death
You see me, I see you
Desire within desire ensues
But straddling life and death it seems
that sinking ship of your sex encompasses my dreams
As I lay awake half alive consumed of you
As you lay half dead in your world askew
We've lived this moment for years and years
you dead, me awake, you alive and up late
While I sleep in tender dreams
The torrid nightmare of fate
This isn't about you, your sex, us nor anything
in between
This is about the death we live day to day
and the infinte emptiness that ensues.
The solitude that we embrace and the ultimate
passion that leads us to the pearly gates.
I want to feel you
saying your last words
heaving you last breast
breathing your last breath
Under me as we breathe
I want to see a burning ocean
of ours so deep
In a house full of artists I create
In a home with a family you wait
for night to fall
so you can escape.
I want to slide into your deep sleep
Underneath a veil of heartbreak you keep
secrets from me, from her, from the rest of the world
hiding your sorrow, sadness, desire for one girl
who'd rather follow the footsteps of the dead
waking you up your sex in death
You see me, I see you
Desire within desire ensues
But straddling life and death it seems
that sinking ship of your sex encompasses my dreams
As I lay awake half alive consumed of you
As you lay half dead in your world askew
We've lived this moment for years and years
you dead, me awake, you alive and up late
While I sleep in tender dreams
The torrid nightmare of fate
This isn't about you, your sex, us nor anything
in between
This is about the death we live day to day
and the infinte emptiness that ensues.
The solitude that we embrace and the ultimate
passion that leads us to the pearly gates.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday
Another rough Saturday, it's the middle of the day that
Saturdays like this haven't had it so rough in days
It keeps coming up and I feel my stomach in my heart
If vomiting was my style I'd let it slip through
It's 2:53 PM my birth time I cant sit still
I'd rather be working on something creative
or lounging on the beach with you
or whoever who
But there is so much I can do here at this desk
Trapped on Twitter Facebook is a mess
Jesus Christ doesn't no longer exist
In a few days I long for a outing a trip a new date
But as evening falls into the night
The wind blows and I get out of this fright
And the doors open wide and my heart settles in
I'm no longer worried and sadness creeps in.
Saturdays like this haven't had it so rough in days
It keeps coming up and I feel my stomach in my heart
If vomiting was my style I'd let it slip through
It's 2:53 PM my birth time I cant sit still
I'd rather be working on something creative
or lounging on the beach with you
or whoever who
But there is so much I can do here at this desk
Trapped on Twitter Facebook is a mess
Jesus Christ doesn't no longer exist
In a few days I long for a outing a trip a new date
But as evening falls into the night
The wind blows and I get out of this fright
And the doors open wide and my heart settles in
I'm no longer worried and sadness creeps in.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Injustice and Anger
Trying to figure out how to repair it
Make some calculated moves to change it
Cannot turn back the time
But how can I fix it?
Maybe I need to leave it
Just for a week or two
maybe I need to relieve it
To Clean up me and you
But what I'm finding
is underneath all this armor
all the ruckus and clamor
Is a lot of injustice and anger
You said one thing
but really meant another
and all I was just looking
was to be your libidinous lover
in between kindness and generosity
were words of insult and neglect
a child of this history
what else can I expect
Today I'm suffering skin flecks and itching
It's my karma to bear
But you know I don't believe it
Just miss our safety your care
And your off and running.
I'm scared.
Stay safe, and take care.
Make some calculated moves to change it
Cannot turn back the time
But how can I fix it?
Maybe I need to leave it
Just for a week or two
maybe I need to relieve it
To Clean up me and you
But what I'm finding
is underneath all this armor
all the ruckus and clamor
Is a lot of injustice and anger
You said one thing
but really meant another
and all I was just looking
was to be your libidinous lover
in between kindness and generosity
were words of insult and neglect
a child of this history
what else can I expect
Today I'm suffering skin flecks and itching
It's my karma to bear
But you know I don't believe it
Just miss our safety your care
And your off and running.
I'm scared.
Stay safe, and take care.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Art and or Drugs
Sober and awake
Sad and alone
Luckily this house is not so empty as an empty home
I keep getting re-injured
And I feel so fragile today
I know it's temporary
And it'll go away
Anything else I cannot do today....
Materialistic girls, looking forward to a glamorous future
but somewhere recognized it was superfluous
and traded it in for art
and
or
drugs.
I'm mad at myself today for making too many moves
too many decisions and speaking way too soon
I'm not going to do much to change it
I'm gonna live through it
try to recognize it and maybe even save it
I'm always the one doing these things for you
I'm always the one when you can't do it
In return
Getting angry so soon
Getting angry at the past too
It's a good day
Owning my feelings and pain this way
haven't turned on the tv nor tried to run away
It's a fucking good day today.
Sad and alone
Luckily this house is not so empty as an empty home
I keep getting re-injured
And I feel so fragile today
I know it's temporary
And it'll go away
Anything else I cannot do today....
Materialistic girls, looking forward to a glamorous future
but somewhere recognized it was superfluous
and traded it in for art
and
or
drugs.
I'm mad at myself today for making too many moves
too many decisions and speaking way too soon
I'm not going to do much to change it
I'm gonna live through it
try to recognize it and maybe even save it
I'm always the one doing these things for you
I'm always the one when you can't do it
In return
Getting angry so soon
Getting angry at the past too
It's a good day
Owning my feelings and pain this way
haven't turned on the tv nor tried to run away
It's a fucking good day today.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Drinking Wine well into the Night
Some nights are just not creative, try as I might
So I write a journal entry in hopes that it will insight
Drinking wine well into the night
I wanna write something about the men and women that I love.
I wanna write something about loving more than one man at a time.
I wanna write something totally self indulgent about taking taking taking
Selfless lover giving, living, heaving, then leaving.
My libido selfish and needy
My soul hungry and greedy
I've got this urge to be totally obsessed in my writing in my art
I've got this urge to be totally obsessed and undressed by your heart
I'll kiss you on the neck and wherever else you want it
But call me when its not warranted and you won't reach me
It's sad and true
You exist here for me, not me for you.
But in the end I will give you more than your heart desires.
I'm the dream come true for you, come witness all this fire
The passion burns all day and night in art and love in sex and fight
You won't be sorry in the end
It's living life to the fullest every minute every second.
Keeping up is part of the ultimate draw
Staying up with me but having your world already in place
is the one that keeps the fire ignited
Strange as it may seem, a busy man is a sexy man
Whether it be work, music or family a self obsessed man
with a palate and a plan with libido in hand.
So I write a journal entry in hopes that it will insight
Drinking wine well into the night
I wanna write something about the men and women that I love.
I wanna write something about loving more than one man at a time.
I wanna write something totally self indulgent about taking taking taking
Selfless lover giving, living, heaving, then leaving.
My libido selfish and needy
My soul hungry and greedy
I've got this urge to be totally obsessed in my writing in my art
I've got this urge to be totally obsessed and undressed by your heart
I'll kiss you on the neck and wherever else you want it
But call me when its not warranted and you won't reach me
It's sad and true
You exist here for me, not me for you.
But in the end I will give you more than your heart desires.
I'm the dream come true for you, come witness all this fire
The passion burns all day and night in art and love in sex and fight
You won't be sorry in the end
It's living life to the fullest every minute every second.
Keeping up is part of the ultimate draw
Staying up with me but having your world already in place
is the one that keeps the fire ignited
Strange as it may seem, a busy man is a sexy man
Whether it be work, music or family a self obsessed man
with a palate and a plan with libido in hand.
Forgiven Me
She's forgiven me I hope
After our last interlude
When I gave her the final note
Of what really happened to me in those last days
But she's back to her old ways
Perhaps they're her only way
And I'm back to sorry but this time its ok
But this time I pity her pain
When truthfully there is no pity no pain
This is just the way, her way and let it be as it may.
After our last interlude
When I gave her the final note
Of what really happened to me in those last days
But she's back to her old ways
Perhaps they're her only way
And I'm back to sorry but this time its ok
But this time I pity her pain
When truthfully there is no pity no pain
This is just the way, her way and let it be as it may.
Friday, May 14, 2010
A Star That Shines Really Bright
Some late night parties with girls, rockstars coming up
Just a dumb guitarist
And then her big eyes and exclamations to hear it,
That girl over there, yes, she lives it.
Holy high hell Batman
She cannot believe it.
Come home empty to an empty room
Once craving the love of a man who is too consumed
Now fallen out of love so it seems
A bird growing a new set of wings
Still trying to come clean
He understood so it seemed
But then followed me to the bedroom
But today is another day
He will have to come face to face with the truth
He's still in the dark
About the transformations of the lark.
And, don't want to jinx it so
I just let it go.
And old girlfriends keep stirring the pot
An old friend heavy in my thoughts
It's just a rock n roll drug induced dream
Just another dumb guitarist on the edge of living clean
There is no way in holy high hell, she's just a teen.
Sweetness and pain mix so well together
like when the longest day turns into the longest night
I know it's sad to you the things I am going to do.
But I'm kind of indifferent. I kind of say 'fuck you.'
It's just a dumb guitarist and a girl's plight
Not the sharpest knife, but a star that shines really bright.
Just a dumb guitarist
And then her big eyes and exclamations to hear it,
That girl over there, yes, she lives it.
Holy high hell Batman
She cannot believe it.
Come home empty to an empty room
Once craving the love of a man who is too consumed
Now fallen out of love so it seems
A bird growing a new set of wings
Still trying to come clean
He understood so it seemed
But then followed me to the bedroom
But today is another day
He will have to come face to face with the truth
He's still in the dark
About the transformations of the lark.
And, don't want to jinx it so
I just let it go.
And old girlfriends keep stirring the pot
An old friend heavy in my thoughts
It's just a rock n roll drug induced dream
Just another dumb guitarist on the edge of living clean
There is no way in holy high hell, she's just a teen.
Sweetness and pain mix so well together
like when the longest day turns into the longest night
I know it's sad to you the things I am going to do.
But I'm kind of indifferent. I kind of say 'fuck you.'
It's just a dumb guitarist and a girl's plight
Not the sharpest knife, but a star that shines really bright.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
That's Just Not The Truth
I spoke too soon and it's been a weird two days
Back in the throes of this rock n roll haze
Love is one thing, but cannot stand in the ways
So, here we are all best of friends
But the tides have changed,
and some if this dies and comes to an end
Then there is the mean, spiteful angry and rude
There hasn't been much done wrong just the plight of a dude
Overly tired we can all snap and be crude
One guy for me for you? in the end that's just not the truth.
Still we'll rock our souls
Heads will roll
We will go get our lovin somewhere else out on the road,
If that makes you whole.
If that makes me whole.
Back in the throes of this rock n roll haze
Love is one thing, but cannot stand in the ways
So, here we are all best of friends
But the tides have changed,
and some if this dies and comes to an end
Then there is the mean, spiteful angry and rude
There hasn't been much done wrong just the plight of a dude
Overly tired we can all snap and be crude
One guy for me for you? in the end that's just not the truth.
Still we'll rock our souls
Heads will roll
We will go get our lovin somewhere else out on the road,
If that makes you whole.
If that makes me whole.
Saturday, May 01, 2010
On The Road
Busy living the dream, life out on the road
We will come together when I finally come home
I think the time is bringing me closer to you
The time might be coming to come out with the truth
Willingly having all sorts of acceptance and freedom
No rules nothing but commitment to our cause
Simply partners and what else is there..
Open & free, living life on the road
In the air, we have no home
We sometimes share a bed, but leave well enough alone.
Until next time these thoughts of you in my head
Fantasy in your long distance messages and we'll talk
about the sexy love we make in your bed
Love to you, from the road, my dear friend
We will come together when I finally come home
I think the time is bringing me closer to you
The time might be coming to come out with the truth
Willingly having all sorts of acceptance and freedom
No rules nothing but commitment to our cause
Simply partners and what else is there..
Open & free, living life on the road
In the air, we have no home
We sometimes share a bed, but leave well enough alone.
Until next time these thoughts of you in my head
Fantasy in your long distance messages and we'll talk
about the sexy love we make in your bed
Love to you, from the road, my dear friend
Clockwork (Written in Sept 2009 )
Heavy footed literary girl
Your eyes are like rain
belly full of regret and fruit flavored gum drops
wide awake again
2AM-4AM the clock ticks in the dark
It's almost like clockwork
Gripped with fear, sadness, loneliness and despair
Is this journey worth it in the end?
Eyes wide open staring into an abyss
What if this goes nowhere?
The quiet hum of an air conditioner breeze,
reminders of a life you threw away
Most days you don't look back my little literary girl
To this end you seem very brave
But then the darkest hour,
just before dawn when he'd
come to bed and hold you
even though all else was wrong with the two of you
at that moment all else would melt away
The evil tiresome worries of the day
The devil at rest in dreams, evil at bay
Until the next morning when the monster would awake
I wait years and years now it seems
To put forth in motion these very dreams
words like driven, dedicated, devoted, replace glamour and pristine
One day we'll get out of here
One day we'll have money, fame, lights and stage
One day, I've been waiting too many years
One day too far away may never come, it seems...
Your eyes are like rain
belly full of regret and fruit flavored gum drops
wide awake again
2AM-4AM the clock ticks in the dark
It's almost like clockwork
Gripped with fear, sadness, loneliness and despair
Is this journey worth it in the end?
Eyes wide open staring into an abyss
What if this goes nowhere?
The quiet hum of an air conditioner breeze,
reminders of a life you threw away
Most days you don't look back my little literary girl
To this end you seem very brave
But then the darkest hour,
just before dawn when he'd
come to bed and hold you
even though all else was wrong with the two of you
at that moment all else would melt away
The evil tiresome worries of the day
The devil at rest in dreams, evil at bay
Until the next morning when the monster would awake
I wait years and years now it seems
To put forth in motion these very dreams
words like driven, dedicated, devoted, replace glamour and pristine
One day we'll get out of here
One day we'll have money, fame, lights and stage
One day, I've been waiting too many years
One day too far away may never come, it seems...
Loving is not a Lie
I hope I haven't hurt you
I hope you're not too afraid of being too eyes closed
I don't take it lightly and I don't take it slightly
Your warmth smile crazy energy drives me wild
I say sorry in advance for the way I live
It's honest and open and crazy
It's complicated does it make you uneasy
It makes me sad in advance for I've been planning this for years
to take off and live on the road
a rock n roll artist like a bohemian and gypsy
the circus life, right here in my living room
I know that America here is your life
with fertility goddess breath in my ears
I know you're not looking for more kids or a wife
And with that I hope we can remain friends for many years
I hope I haven't offended you or scared you away
I know we cannot to talk every day
but all of a sudden I'm feeling these mad crazy feelings
and I know you are somewhat pulling away
We both come with conditions and baggage
and we can't make us number one today
I know you see its the same for you
We're actually perfect that way
I'm not going to let you hear this now
Mercury is retrograde
The moon is full in the sky
I hope you know that loving is not a lie.
For I will make time for you over here on the side.
I hope you're not too afraid of being too eyes closed
I don't take it lightly and I don't take it slightly
Your warmth smile crazy energy drives me wild
I say sorry in advance for the way I live
It's honest and open and crazy
It's complicated does it make you uneasy
It makes me sad in advance for I've been planning this for years
to take off and live on the road
a rock n roll artist like a bohemian and gypsy
the circus life, right here in my living room
I know that America here is your life
with fertility goddess breath in my ears
I know you're not looking for more kids or a wife
And with that I hope we can remain friends for many years
I hope I haven't offended you or scared you away
I know we cannot to talk every day
but all of a sudden I'm feeling these mad crazy feelings
and I know you are somewhat pulling away
We both come with conditions and baggage
and we can't make us number one today
I know you see its the same for you
We're actually perfect that way
I'm not going to let you hear this now
Mercury is retrograde
The moon is full in the sky
I hope you know that loving is not a lie.
For I will make time for you over here on the side.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
It's Tiresome Being The Queen...
I was going to write some stupid bullshit about being angry and selfish
and bratty
Like on Sunday when the sales boy had to come outside and get me
Cuz I left the conservative party for sun, fresh air and grass
Like a counselor he chased me to sign some dumb ass
paperwork
I was going to write some stupid crap about getting what I want and being free and being me
Like drinking bloody mary's while these boys all consoled me
My brothers they gotta deal with my bullshit
I was going to write some stupid crap about how that shit is funny
Cuz I deserve it.
But really at the end of the day, it's lame being such royalty
It's annoying and it's tedious and so much better being friendly
It's tiresome being the queen.
I was going to write some stupid crap about love, sex and independence
while once a day my brothers run in and save me, time and time again from little bugs that crawl on my desk, and within me
and do things like clean the kitchen for me
A wretched queen suffering
Not fit for this throne
running around screaming
Scowling at the loud drunk autistic boy
who lives here alone
The brothers working overtime to make sure I stay in peace
And all I can do is talk about my freedom and not quietly
nor gracefully, slowly, embracing insanity
and bratty
Like on Sunday when the sales boy had to come outside and get me
Cuz I left the conservative party for sun, fresh air and grass
Like a counselor he chased me to sign some dumb ass
paperwork
I was going to write some stupid crap about getting what I want and being free and being me
Like drinking bloody mary's while these boys all consoled me
My brothers they gotta deal with my bullshit
I was going to write some stupid crap about how that shit is funny
Cuz I deserve it.
But really at the end of the day, it's lame being such royalty
It's annoying and it's tedious and so much better being friendly
It's tiresome being the queen.
I was going to write some stupid crap about love, sex and independence
while once a day my brothers run in and save me, time and time again from little bugs that crawl on my desk, and within me
and do things like clean the kitchen for me
A wretched queen suffering
Not fit for this throne
running around screaming
Scowling at the loud drunk autistic boy
who lives here alone
The brothers working overtime to make sure I stay in peace
And all I can do is talk about my freedom and not quietly
nor gracefully, slowly, embracing insanity
Monday, April 26, 2010
rock n roll
Everyone is having babies, or getting married
Something or the other
both things one world
Me? Well I've given it all up for freedom
and living and some rock n roll
And, I so don't care if you judge it
You may have money but is home really where the heart is?
Is it wher your
Love, Passion, Freedom is?
Where is your Art? Did you sell it
when you bought your house three car garage?
I pray thee did not.
One bought me an engagement ring and we
slit each others throats.
The other, well he bought me a disengagement ring.
And we laughed as we ran down the aisle
at Trader Joes.
All the way down to the Isle of Lesbos.
It's not that I'm disparaging
Nor bashing these ways of life
It's just that I traded it all
I Never idealized the wife.
It's passion, romance and desire
art and music that appeal to the flowers of my eye
in my left pupil.
Something or the other
both things one world
Me? Well I've given it all up for freedom
and living and some rock n roll
And, I so don't care if you judge it
You may have money but is home really where the heart is?
Is it wher your
Love, Passion, Freedom is?
Where is your Art? Did you sell it
when you bought your house three car garage?
I pray thee did not.
One bought me an engagement ring and we
slit each others throats.
The other, well he bought me a disengagement ring.
And we laughed as we ran down the aisle
at Trader Joes.
All the way down to the Isle of Lesbos.
It's not that I'm disparaging
Nor bashing these ways of life
It's just that I traded it all
I Never idealized the wife.
It's passion, romance and desire
art and music that appeal to the flowers of my eye
in my left pupil.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The Smell
The key is to have many outlets for your swell
I've been so kind and open from here to hell
The lady she loved me and together we worked fucking well
Till one day she got mixed up, gave in to the fumes, the funk,
the dank, the smell
It's growing stronger in this house
It's wretchedness day be day
and in between there are moments where my sweetness makes way
but overall he takes and takes and once in a while some days
he'll come over to me and give me a hug and appreciative words he'll say
The smell is getting bigger almost like his giant head
To put your money where your mouth is is like breaking bread
No room for obscure art of imagination
Let's make millions together just follow me
It's all that is ever mentioned
Yes, my dear, smiling, following docile-y along
But rearing up and getting ready to take this world by song
Not saying it's a bad deal just hurts the tender ego
It's not liking to brag about talent or BS genius
But still some days it would be nice to hear it
And every day goes by those lips flapping self enigmatic
Rude remarks and subtle put downs that make one think I've had it
I'm trying not to smell the stench or let my temper flare
But the tears keep welling up in my eyes, I know this can't be fair
And in my confusion my sadness, anger and haze
I recognize their illness, emptiness, despair and malaise
Trying so hard to make it, this is all they've got
And without this giant team on board this is all for naught
Are we all friends and family, do we meet each others every need
This is his time, I say, don't be driven by your greed
The stench today gets aired out as the back door stays wide open
You gotta come and go as you please
Let the air flow in and out, let your lungs breathe in and out
Everyone must own their pain.
I've been so kind and open from here to hell
The lady she loved me and together we worked fucking well
Till one day she got mixed up, gave in to the fumes, the funk,
the dank, the smell
It's growing stronger in this house
It's wretchedness day be day
and in between there are moments where my sweetness makes way
but overall he takes and takes and once in a while some days
he'll come over to me and give me a hug and appreciative words he'll say
The smell is getting bigger almost like his giant head
To put your money where your mouth is is like breaking bread
No room for obscure art of imagination
Let's make millions together just follow me
It's all that is ever mentioned
Yes, my dear, smiling, following docile-y along
But rearing up and getting ready to take this world by song
Not saying it's a bad deal just hurts the tender ego
It's not liking to brag about talent or BS genius
But still some days it would be nice to hear it
And every day goes by those lips flapping self enigmatic
Rude remarks and subtle put downs that make one think I've had it
I'm trying not to smell the stench or let my temper flare
But the tears keep welling up in my eyes, I know this can't be fair
And in my confusion my sadness, anger and haze
I recognize their illness, emptiness, despair and malaise
Trying so hard to make it, this is all they've got
And without this giant team on board this is all for naught
Are we all friends and family, do we meet each others every need
This is his time, I say, don't be driven by your greed
The stench today gets aired out as the back door stays wide open
You gotta come and go as you please
Let the air flow in and out, let your lungs breathe in and out
Everyone must own their pain.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Best of Both Worlds
Boys and Girls
Like me, I like
being the center of attention,
The apple in your eye. I love
to be adored from the depths of the world
by many boys and many girls
That's how and why I grow.
I've loved many and they have loved me in return
Most still do
Unless their ego too big got too bruised
But those with an open mind
recognize keeping me around as a friend
is like having the best of both worlds in the end.
Those who keep an open mind
will have the best of All worlds in the end.
Like me, I like
being the center of attention,
The apple in your eye. I love
to be adored from the depths of the world
by many boys and many girls
That's how and why I grow.
I've loved many and they have loved me in return
Most still do
Unless their ego too big got too bruised
But those with an open mind
recognize keeping me around as a friend
is like having the best of both worlds in the end.
Those who keep an open mind
will have the best of All worlds in the end.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
I have many lovers....
I have many lovers but I never kiss and tell
My lovers are my friends, and will love me till the end
They'll find their way into my heart into my head and into my soul
then find their way into my bedroom or their office or even on the phone
I have many lovers and I intend to keep it that way
But I'll never reveal their names and I'll never sweat the game
Friends until the end.
My lovers are my friends, and will love me till the end
They'll find their way into my heart into my head and into my soul
then find their way into my bedroom or their office or even on the phone
I have many lovers and I intend to keep it that way
But I'll never reveal their names and I'll never sweat the game
Friends until the end.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
These Monsters
I'm angry at myself for creating this monster
These monsters whose heads become bigger when they're with me
I'm tired of seeing your entitled monster
Your bullshit your raven you gotta set me free
And today is the last day you'll be seeing me.
I'll be wearing my hat big rim igcognito
sunglasses no grin the bitch in me will grow
Once upon a time I let u judge me , dictate how my life was meant to be lived,
now I make all the rules bitch.
I rule my life.
I've reached my fucking NICE quota for the day, week, month, year,
fucking entire lifetime.
It's fucking birthday hour at the witching house.. when bitches and witches are birthed. I will be celebrating with my fucking biting words!
These monsters whose heads become bigger when they're with me
I'm tired of seeing your entitled monster
Your bullshit your raven you gotta set me free
And today is the last day you'll be seeing me.
I'll be wearing my hat big rim igcognito
sunglasses no grin the bitch in me will grow
Once upon a time I let u judge me , dictate how my life was meant to be lived,
now I make all the rules bitch.
I rule my life.
I've reached my fucking NICE quota for the day, week, month, year,
fucking entire lifetime.
It's fucking birthday hour at the witching house.. when bitches and witches are birthed. I will be celebrating with my fucking biting words!
Friday, April 09, 2010
Das Boat
People on this boat, we're just trying to stay afloat
and then he puts on his white shirt and turns up his R&B techno
It's Friday night and his best friend takes hold
feeds him beer and he's the college boy too old
What he doesn't see is his friend is lonely
He's got nothing to do but disturb the peace
act like he's entitled
and take over the show
And no i'm not interested either
To be in their after glow
of this kids 9 to 5 lost-errando
Bored with life, getting drunk on a Friday night
nothing else to do
No art only a knife that sticks right
into the American dream
Into the heart, no spice, maybe even a wife
No creativity, just me and my strife.
In the heart he wants a wife
A house a baby he gripes
No creativity or style.
And no one feels my strife.
and then he puts on his white shirt and turns up his R&B techno
It's Friday night and his best friend takes hold
feeds him beer and he's the college boy too old
What he doesn't see is his friend is lonely
He's got nothing to do but disturb the peace
act like he's entitled
and take over the show
And no i'm not interested either
To be in their after glow
of this kids 9 to 5 lost-errando
Bored with life, getting drunk on a Friday night
nothing else to do
No art only a knife that sticks right
into the American dream
Into the heart, no spice, maybe even a wife
No creativity, just me and my strife.
In the heart he wants a wife
A house a baby he gripes
No creativity or style.
And no one feels my strife.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Milk, Not Honey
She's a sunflower girl
Heavy in her world
In circles and around she twirls
She's happy in this life
Living as his wife
She's about to give birth to a heavy madness hurl
In God we see beauty, we're told he don't like Ugly
We pray to him forgiveness but really it's our souls
Like hiding under the bridge the trolls
The devil takes his toll
For Gold
I'm waiting in the wings, with my head bent over
I'm studying working for that day
but I'm already living my dream clover
It's beautiful these here moments
the days in which I create
with love in my arms, I play the guitar
and then its lists I make
I sorry for the girls
who gave it up for money
married because they think its too late
to pursue their dream of honey
milk not honey milk not honey
I'm sorry honey
you're gonna get milk not honey
unless you decide to give it another ride
and ride off into the sunset
out there on the road
in the middle of nowhere
the wild wild west
it's not for the faint hearted
it's not for those who care
but for those who cannot be burdened
with worldly details
Come ride with me
The traveling circus
Come ride with me
Into the sunset
If you dare
If you dare
to throw away the care
Onto the long dusty road out there
Come ride with me if you dare.
Heavy in her world
In circles and around she twirls
She's happy in this life
Living as his wife
She's about to give birth to a heavy madness hurl
In God we see beauty, we're told he don't like Ugly
We pray to him forgiveness but really it's our souls
Like hiding under the bridge the trolls
The devil takes his toll
For Gold
I'm waiting in the wings, with my head bent over
I'm studying working for that day
but I'm already living my dream clover
It's beautiful these here moments
the days in which I create
with love in my arms, I play the guitar
and then its lists I make
I sorry for the girls
who gave it up for money
married because they think its too late
to pursue their dream of honey
milk not honey milk not honey
I'm sorry honey
you're gonna get milk not honey
unless you decide to give it another ride
and ride off into the sunset
out there on the road
in the middle of nowhere
the wild wild west
it's not for the faint hearted
it's not for those who care
but for those who cannot be burdened
with worldly details
Come ride with me
The traveling circus
Come ride with me
Into the sunset
If you dare
If you dare
to throw away the care
Onto the long dusty road out there
Come ride with me if you dare.
Monday, March 22, 2010
A New Song
I was meant to wander the earth alone
and one day, maybe soon I will pack my bags and suddenly be gone
It's just what I must do to travel on
I'm not looking for one thing to own
Just looking for what suits me in the dawn
In the morning of that wakeful hour
If the meaning in this relationship has gone sour
New art, new music, a new flower, a new song
Will you miss me when I am gone..
I give give give but not without expecting return
I don't work for pennies and I don't give free loans
Everything comes with a price, a give and take, just fair and square
Call it what you will, Work with me and I will meet you there
But admiration and love must be within
I'm not about to sit around and pacify your shifty grin
I am selective, do you have what it takes
to shower me with gifts?
If you do, we might just be friends.
I guess I never realized my opportunistic ways
I did, but always turned my head
Some may call it exploitive, or sexploitive
But you cannot just take and in return not give.
and one day, maybe soon I will pack my bags and suddenly be gone
It's just what I must do to travel on
I'm not looking for one thing to own
Just looking for what suits me in the dawn
In the morning of that wakeful hour
If the meaning in this relationship has gone sour
New art, new music, a new flower, a new song
Will you miss me when I am gone..
I give give give but not without expecting return
I don't work for pennies and I don't give free loans
Everything comes with a price, a give and take, just fair and square
Call it what you will, Work with me and I will meet you there
But admiration and love must be within
I'm not about to sit around and pacify your shifty grin
I am selective, do you have what it takes
to shower me with gifts?
If you do, we might just be friends.
I guess I never realized my opportunistic ways
I did, but always turned my head
Some may call it exploitive, or sexploitive
But you cannot just take and in return not give.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Worth Something in the End
At the end of the day, who is really happy anyway?
With all our free spirited democracy and social networking hypocrisy
every one is still just trying to live fighting their anxieties
When our parents are getting older and our sisters are still getting high
and illness has seeped in to every corner of everyone's psyche
trying to pretend we're still sane
trying to act like we've got it made
I dreamt that they had to take him back, our cat
and I cried and cried wondering if he was lonely if he was eating
And any of my real blood is halfway around the world living an existence
so different
And I live in a house full of idiots so that I can go and play rock shows and speak about sex woes.
And at the end of the day, no one is really happy and no one is anyone anyway.
We aren't of this earth, just vessels we've decided to invoke
let's just say a prayer and look forward and pray this will all be worth something in the end.
With all our free spirited democracy and social networking hypocrisy
every one is still just trying to live fighting their anxieties
When our parents are getting older and our sisters are still getting high
and illness has seeped in to every corner of everyone's psyche
trying to pretend we're still sane
trying to act like we've got it made
I dreamt that they had to take him back, our cat
and I cried and cried wondering if he was lonely if he was eating
And any of my real blood is halfway around the world living an existence
so different
And I live in a house full of idiots so that I can go and play rock shows and speak about sex woes.
And at the end of the day, no one is really happy and no one is anyone anyway.
We aren't of this earth, just vessels we've decided to invoke
let's just say a prayer and look forward and pray this will all be worth something in the end.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
The Artist in Me...
I realize my own misgivings, of what I was to blame
A thousand years in hiding, they all went up in flames
Because I grew up and grew out of that fear of the unknown
Not believing in myself and that I'd an artist in me to hone
Not just an artist a developer writer doer fighter independent
And I should have known that playing guitar every day for 10 years, you've nowhere to go but grow
I did not see it then and I took thee down with me
Handsome and prince like even then you followed me.
I clung to you like madness and begged and begged forgiveness
We got married in the fall and by winter I beared witness
to the life that I could live on my own if only I'd had known
I would have never let you go down the road with me
Wretched blazed unhappy me, and you'd spent
the nights alone.
I was only looking for me, the artist in me. You were waiting for me to grow.
If only I would have listened when you said, We're not the same
If only I'd had witnessed that hard work is what brings gain
And you forced me to stay put to buckle down for Love
because even in my lying ways I loved you as deep down and above.
You're a simple friend with a simple life and simple ways
And I know you were true you loved me in the haze
And I know I didn't make it easy not believing in myself
I know I didn't make it easy putting us on the shelf
I held onto you so selfishly just wanting your acceptance
When you would've loved me anyway, and even more if I'd made sense.
But too much anger under the bridge washed away our bond
and when I woke up from the sadness
I knew that we were gone
And all I had left was this artist who had been fighting for so long
To be seen, to be heard, that had been there all along
Wanting, pushing, trying, struggling to write a song.
It wasn't about the music a band or piece of art
The life I wanted to embrace was living from the Heart
To scrub down to the bottom of this material world
and scrape back up to the top
A Musician, Artist, Entrepreneur, who struggles but never stops.
A creative life is one that embraces it's very day
We don't rely on others, and we never take the easy way.
And all this growth in me, came somewhere from within,
But you gave me some keys and tools
That blossomed in my skin.
You taught me that I must stay, you taught me not to give in.
You taught me that with time things will change for the better
Dues and time. Just begin!
And so I did, not knowing I was laying bricks and foundation.
And when it finally hit me, it was too late. I'd already started to Listen.
A thousand years in hiding, they all went up in flames
Because I grew up and grew out of that fear of the unknown
Not believing in myself and that I'd an artist in me to hone
Not just an artist a developer writer doer fighter independent
And I should have known that playing guitar every day for 10 years, you've nowhere to go but grow
I did not see it then and I took thee down with me
Handsome and prince like even then you followed me.
I clung to you like madness and begged and begged forgiveness
We got married in the fall and by winter I beared witness
to the life that I could live on my own if only I'd had known
I would have never let you go down the road with me
Wretched blazed unhappy me, and you'd spent
the nights alone.
I was only looking for me, the artist in me. You were waiting for me to grow.
If only I would have listened when you said, We're not the same
If only I'd had witnessed that hard work is what brings gain
And you forced me to stay put to buckle down for Love
because even in my lying ways I loved you as deep down and above.
You're a simple friend with a simple life and simple ways
And I know you were true you loved me in the haze
And I know I didn't make it easy not believing in myself
I know I didn't make it easy putting us on the shelf
I held onto you so selfishly just wanting your acceptance
When you would've loved me anyway, and even more if I'd made sense.
But too much anger under the bridge washed away our bond
and when I woke up from the sadness
I knew that we were gone
And all I had left was this artist who had been fighting for so long
To be seen, to be heard, that had been there all along
Wanting, pushing, trying, struggling to write a song.
It wasn't about the music a band or piece of art
The life I wanted to embrace was living from the Heart
To scrub down to the bottom of this material world
and scrape back up to the top
A Musician, Artist, Entrepreneur, who struggles but never stops.
A creative life is one that embraces it's very day
We don't rely on others, and we never take the easy way.
And all this growth in me, came somewhere from within,
But you gave me some keys and tools
That blossomed in my skin.
You taught me that I must stay, you taught me not to give in.
You taught me that with time things will change for the better
Dues and time. Just begin!
And so I did, not knowing I was laying bricks and foundation.
And when it finally hit me, it was too late. I'd already started to Listen.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The Dawning of the Tiger...
On this here eve, she said she's got the tiger by the tail.
Grabbing it's rear end, I suppose is what it entails.
For me there is no more grabbing, no holding on or hanging
For me I can only let go and look the tiger in the face.
I've let go of misgivings and desires I have untold
I've let go of worries of things I've so wanted to control
There is no such thing as control
this is one thing I have learned.
And if there is one thing I have learned
There is little I can control.
So I have surrendered to let it go, and just to let it all flow.
This next year will be filled with turmoils and unknowns.
Just like every year we're told, but fear cannot hold
onto me like a rope wanting to control.
If there is one thing I have learned from the 3 weeks I was gone
Just let it go
Just let it be
Where they may, Let the cards fall
Appreciate the morning, the sun, the sky, my breath.
Appreciate my freedom, my arms and my legs.
Appreciate my kitchen, my garden and my sisters, brothers, best friends.
Appreciate the life I am given for one day it could all end.
Grabbing it's rear end, I suppose is what it entails.
For me there is no more grabbing, no holding on or hanging
For me I can only let go and look the tiger in the face.
I've let go of misgivings and desires I have untold
I've let go of worries of things I've so wanted to control
There is no such thing as control
this is one thing I have learned.
And if there is one thing I have learned
There is little I can control.
So I have surrendered to let it go, and just to let it all flow.
This next year will be filled with turmoils and unknowns.
Just like every year we're told, but fear cannot hold
onto me like a rope wanting to control.
If there is one thing I have learned from the 3 weeks I was gone
Just let it go
Just let it be
Where they may, Let the cards fall
Appreciate the morning, the sun, the sky, my breath.
Appreciate my freedom, my arms and my legs.
Appreciate my kitchen, my garden and my sisters, brothers, best friends.
Appreciate the life I am given for one day it could all end.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The fringe and the fringeness...
Grieving and sadness pedaling my sickness.
It's true I have something like the flu.
Maybe it's the chemtrails spreading disease onto the lands
who knows, it just comes and it goes.
Maybe I'm dying.
Maybe it's all almost over.
I mean it could be any day.
This minute, this day, tomorrow
our last day.
I am going to relax and not let these things get the best of me.
Curtail our excesses for now until recovery.
Curtail our excesses and push it to the edges.
The fringe and the fringes.
It's true I have something like the flu.
Maybe it's the chemtrails spreading disease onto the lands
who knows, it just comes and it goes.
Maybe I'm dying.
Maybe it's all almost over.
I mean it could be any day.
This minute, this day, tomorrow
our last day.
I am going to relax and not let these things get the best of me.
Curtail our excesses for now until recovery.
Curtail our excesses and push it to the edges.
The fringe and the fringes.
Saturday, January 09, 2010
The Garden, The Rose and The Ho
I woke up thinking about the things that could have been
I woke up remembering and regretting even what might have been
A Joan Baez circle was in my dream, and I woke up wishing I could just swim
Swim past these superficial, ambitious, superfluous simplicities
Success driven men and ladies all trying to get a piece
Like vultures grabbing for any little bit of accolades of acknowledgment
of money and of fame.
In my dream of course We were going to go, even though I say to myself No.
I staunchly and firmly believe in No Regrets,
but talking with an old friend also so far away
from where he once was
from where we once were and the things the things he once had offered
to me and himself
we've slowly slipped away
That good life is not far away, or maybe this cold war is the one thing I feared my entire life
of rationing and fight
of hiding, fear and flight
an economic recession a downturn of fiscal responsibilities
and we the people no longer holds meaning
Who would choose the grim snow over the island she mused,
and I recognize the fear he must have infused.
And his digression and regret in what he chose
When open mindedness and freedom lighted his abode
I once felt the same way.
But we could have traveled the world together I suppose
I'm sure we would have had I allowed to bloom that rose.
But I went with another garden, another gardener. I chose.
And, come on, afterall he was kind of a Ho.
So now we are two, friends still in the end, as I am with everyone
now and again
And the war is in full swing, it's the 20's, the 40's the 60's again.
With protesters and angry civilians
With global warming and a Black president
It's civil war and world war all over again.
We're broke and we're struggling with visions of grandeur in our minds
We crave the road and hope it will get us away from all this mess
But the world is a downturn flying falling into the abyss
The end is near we know, yet we hope this will be bliss.
And, we're older now, not like we were in our 20's.
When we were swinging wild and crazy,
God, I loved the 90's, flower and music San Francisco.
Clinton was president and growth was in the air.
I was 23 and I was going everywhere.
Fashion, Art, Travel. We were going to do it all.
We did for a short time.
And then slowly one by one, we did fall.
Some of us still standing driven by success.
Ambition of sorts, still dressing to impress.
I woke up this morning and realized too
That what we have in our 20's is gone.
We can continue to try to recreate, but many people are tired.
So make new friends if you choose who want to party and light the fire.
But, let the old go. Let your old friends retire if they desire.
I'm big into letting go of anything in my wake.
I'm ready to live a free existence
Free from your aroused state.
I woke up remembering and regretting even what might have been
A Joan Baez circle was in my dream, and I woke up wishing I could just swim
Swim past these superficial, ambitious, superfluous simplicities
Success driven men and ladies all trying to get a piece
Like vultures grabbing for any little bit of accolades of acknowledgment
of money and of fame.
In my dream of course We were going to go, even though I say to myself No.
I staunchly and firmly believe in No Regrets,
but talking with an old friend also so far away
from where he once was
from where we once were and the things the things he once had offered
to me and himself
we've slowly slipped away
That good life is not far away, or maybe this cold war is the one thing I feared my entire life
of rationing and fight
of hiding, fear and flight
an economic recession a downturn of fiscal responsibilities
and we the people no longer holds meaning
Who would choose the grim snow over the island she mused,
and I recognize the fear he must have infused.
And his digression and regret in what he chose
When open mindedness and freedom lighted his abode
I once felt the same way.
But we could have traveled the world together I suppose
I'm sure we would have had I allowed to bloom that rose.
But I went with another garden, another gardener. I chose.
And, come on, afterall he was kind of a Ho.
So now we are two, friends still in the end, as I am with everyone
now and again
And the war is in full swing, it's the 20's, the 40's the 60's again.
With protesters and angry civilians
With global warming and a Black president
It's civil war and world war all over again.
We're broke and we're struggling with visions of grandeur in our minds
We crave the road and hope it will get us away from all this mess
But the world is a downturn flying falling into the abyss
The end is near we know, yet we hope this will be bliss.
And, we're older now, not like we were in our 20's.
When we were swinging wild and crazy,
God, I loved the 90's, flower and music San Francisco.
Clinton was president and growth was in the air.
I was 23 and I was going everywhere.
Fashion, Art, Travel. We were going to do it all.
We did for a short time.
And then slowly one by one, we did fall.
Some of us still standing driven by success.
Ambition of sorts, still dressing to impress.
I woke up this morning and realized too
That what we have in our 20's is gone.
We can continue to try to recreate, but many people are tired.
So make new friends if you choose who want to party and light the fire.
But, let the old go. Let your old friends retire if they desire.
I'm big into letting go of anything in my wake.
I'm ready to live a free existence
Free from your aroused state.
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