Hollow Fear Pain Grind

Who are those people I've played in rock bands with?
Some olympic medal souls cracking of a whip
Stealing of hearts, bodies and mind, including mine
left over hollow fear pain grind

God I followed with all my heart
One foot behind the other
Deliberate head down smart
Marching willing purposefully blind
Swallowing masterful dysfunction arrogance
Drinking it down with wine

I've begged and begged each and everyone to stay
Down on my knees, face tear-stained
But in the end I could not hold what was not
meant to stay

Some say
Part fabulous, party dirty
one day clean,
Next day tattered, disheveled, rock n' roll queen
Living some circus life vagabond dream

I haven't managed to love you the right way
We haven't managed to meet in the middle
half way
She gives - we take, You take - I leave but nothing,
nowhere, never, no how, never land seems to breathe

Giving soft prodding along
Diligently loving gilded and gray
But I feel accomplished
I gave it my all
I'm not saying stop, goodbye
Nothing like that this fall

For seasons change and feelings
fold
old mold or turn to gold
In the spring
we shed our skin
me and love, rock 'n roll soul
Will live on and reconvene

But I am letting go of the body
for that which too tightly
I could not control.