because you're almost full

so now i made a little note
a mental note
the scene is done
tired
old

my youth was fun
next stage welcome

work your heart out little girl
this job is kicking my ass

sometimes you have got to give it a last whirl
even if you don't feel it quite like before
because you're almost full
but if you take a break the hunger may return
so you think maybe

finish off that last piece
bite it until it's gone
forever
into the belly of your past

we had fun lil girls didn't we?
we had too much fun on many levels
but some left us empty
now that tank is full
of crap

half empty half full
more or less
it had meaning back then
so we thought
but doesn't quite seem to fit now

like a snake sheds its skin
or an onion
those words still ringing in my ears
for over a year

trying to let go
but always looking back
with a smile of sadness
turn around say my new friends
as they grab my hands
lets walk together into the forest
that is the future

marcy

so now i talk about myself
to marcy

we talk about
things like women
and love

smart girls earn it
pretty girls live it
desparate girls die alone

we all die alone i remind her
she reminds me its time to move on

in not so many words
taking a break she doesn't want to step on my toes
push her advice on me
yes, it's a technique i too know
all too well

and i appreciate it
subtlety
because i can read between the lines
sometimes too well and to my detriment
so i live my life perhaps in riddle
somewhere aware of the body
not so much the words
though that is what comes out
of me
most of the time
anyway

and those who cannot right now
interpret
take a hint
drink some gin and live in the abstract
are not in my venue

gradually exposing their dim ditz
just different
they say its honesty
i say
it's denial

wake up and smell the coffee that is brewing in your own kitchen
ladies
or else stupidity sweetheart may slap lips somewhere between
ass and feeling good just in the moment

un unicorn

are you un unicorn
stand out in the crowd
do they tease you beat you taunt you
make you feel ugly when you win
hands down

sometimes do you falter
lose the tough in you lose
the fight within you
when they've torn you down
so far down your beauty sagging
to the ground

many days under a blanket a haze of bewilderment
and confusion waiting for the clearing
forgetting that your horn can guide
your horn shall lead the way
has lead the way of strength in times of fury
and furious furious furrow

brows brown unborough

it's a strange time of change and loss and pain
change and loss and change and gain
but no big dreams like heaven await like
a dream you had in a heaven too late

but to be fair you refuse to grow trying to hang on to
a default horn like pegasus or uniball
sometimes does good and people want your beauty
but in your haven unwanted haven of nothing worth giving
only what you have taken
no missed opportunities in your wake

growing pains for a weak unicorn means tears in your exterior
but the skin grown back for double dowble after midnight you will awake
and walk untiil dawn breaks

for two days

spent the last few days with old friends
dinner with wine
sunning in venice beach
pampering ourselves at the spa
ida-ho wanted hollywood and water
having a swim and a lunch poolside at a table next to
Angelina Jolie

for two days
i forgot about my life
and some of my friends
some of these so called friends in my world
but they're more like associates

people i am to know by obligation
to know me back
call me
lets have dinner
go see an old friend
how 'bout a drink?
i've either known

sometimes i know i need to move
this town breeds shallow

and i see where we've been used
for our resources for someone else's gain
whether it be monetary or fame

this town breeds snakes
charming on the surface
but waiting to take your shirt off your back
and never planning to return it
unless you ask
you have to ask

for two days
i forgot about these women
slapping stabbing snaking grabbing
talk talk talk about themselves
pumping themselves up or not
because they're sneaky

i should go with my first instinct
it's never too late
to learn from our mistakes
how we can just erase them from our plate
our existence

i need to break away

it's true

i know she didn't call me crying about the state of her life
after she tried to tell me about mine

i know she didn't call me begging to go
somewhere she before would refuse
before

the irony, the hypocrisy of life

i never say i'm better
never say i'm right
always try to listen
then often lose insight

of my core, stability and strength
sacrificed
for your acceptance
into some world
dumbass

the irony, the hypocrisy of life

i loved you wanted you needed you
i was turned away
only let in because i fulfilled something in you

and lets be true
we shared the color blue
so you and me
we both got something new

the irony, the hypocrisy of life

i'm sad, and scared now
but I won't go backwards
can't let you back
not like before

because i know now, what i saw then
but refused to believe
it's true

at the end of the day

wow she says with such conviction
i'm really mourning the death of my friends

not some fancy of the years gone by
or a taste of a flavor gone stale
but an image of a life with people you once knew

someone who can shake your tale, a story, no fairy

i'm not going banish you from my country
nor hide from you at the state capitol

i just never expected people to change
or perhaps stay the same and expect you to
listen

to what they still think of you
your explanations have gone dry
like a white wine or vodka collins
you'll never drink
just sitting there

waiting for you to blow
waiting for you to blow

wow she says, these lessons we learn
she's been expecting you
to cower
funny how that is

but still keep them around
still leave them in waiting
for everyone has their life to live
and at the end of the day
no one is thinking about you

except how you can benefit them
fit into their portrait
never reeling behind their words
like you do
so let it go

at the end of the day
they're just words anyway

my sister's killers

the remains are being destroyed
the bodies will be ready for inspection

mexico city, seattle, scottsdale Arizona
why one and not the other

who will attend
the senator wishes to be placed in suspended animation
in death
freeze him
stipulated in his will
release it to his son for that purpose

minor disputes of our fathers remains
unless indeed he gets brought back to life

please help find the sisters killers
please help me find my sister the killer

crystal clear

please accept our condolences
something has died
someone is death

crypt, an hour ago he was cremated
nothing like a 2000 degree fire to destroy evidence

use my special gift, to good use,
cops think i'm a psychic and now we investigate this kidnapping

do you want to bury a cow?

in red, blue some green too

this lingers like a flower
just trying to nourish
forget what i loved

won't it let me be
i need to exist in the
empty

sex slaves and doll trade
i would win
it was me
i don't remember so clearly
blurry images of legs and furry places
in red, blue some green too

in jail we were kept
like prisoners
but we knew
it was good
to you
so good to me and you

in a room in the house we together outgrew
or just me suffocated by your frenzy
thwarted retarded unrecognizable
to the naked eye

unless someone else knew
lost and confused
engine blowing a fuse

here in a sad state of sorrow
of fear and disgust
mirror image and lust

in a room in the house we together outgrew
or just me suffocated by your frenzy
thwarted retarded unrecognizable
to the naked eye

you ask why i'm so angry
does it show
living a life about someone else
making little
in the shadows in the shadows
creeping around looking for just a little light
and when it would shine
frowns and laughter
jealousy and envy
petty

in a room in the house we together outgrew
or just me suffocated by your frenzy
thwarted retarded unrecognizable
to the naked eye

waste of time a waste of space
playing to win someone else's race

insult me once, i wince with a sign
insult me twice,
a third time
anger in memory will follow forever

envy and forgiveness are not in my dowry

cities in wait

making up the mind
the hardest decisions
bring about the most pain
and the most joy

and advancement
of life
your own visions in mind
which city is it going to be
surrounded by buildings only
lights and gotham
comfort in chaos
this city's in wait
these cities in wait
with people and beings living

turn the tv off
middle america
obesity and fast food
reality show and fame
obsessions bred by comfort and space
no visions raise your pimpled-face
disgrace

work and sleep coupled by design and beauty
what is it going to be space or city
just turn off the tv
what do you see
concrete
or cookie-cutter bliss