The Artist in Me...

I realize my own misgivings, of what I was to blame
A thousand years in hiding, they all went up in flames
Because I grew up and grew out of that fear of the unknown
Not believing in myself and that I'd an artist in me to hone
Not just an artist a developer writer doer fighter independent
And I should have known that playing guitar every day for 10 years, you've nowhere to go but grow

I did not see it then and I took thee down with me
Handsome and prince like even then you followed me.
I clung to you like madness and begged and begged forgiveness
We got married in the fall and by winter I beared witness
to the life that I could live on my own if only I'd had known
I would have never let you go down the road with me
Wretched blazed unhappy me, and you'd spent
the nights alone.
I was only looking for me, the artist in me. You were waiting for me to grow.

If only I would have listened when you said, We're not the same
If only I'd had witnessed that hard work is what brings gain
And you forced me to stay put to buckle down for Love
because even in my lying ways I loved you as deep down and above.


You're a simple friend with a simple life and simple ways
And I know you were true you loved me in the haze
And I know I didn't make it easy not believing in myself
I know I didn't make it easy putting us on the shelf
I held onto you so selfishly just wanting your acceptance
When you would've loved me anyway, and even more if I'd made sense.

But too much anger under the bridge washed away our bond
and when I woke up from the sadness
I knew that we were gone
And all I had left was this artist who had been fighting for so long
To be seen, to be heard, that had been there all along
Wanting, pushing, trying, struggling to write a song.

It wasn't about the music a band or piece of art
The life I wanted to embrace was living from the Heart
To scrub down to the bottom of this material world
and scrape back up to the top
A Musician, Artist, Entrepreneur, who struggles but never stops.
A creative life is one that embraces it's very day
We don't rely on others, and we never take the easy way.

And all this growth in me, came somewhere from within,
But you gave me some keys and tools
That blossomed in my skin.
You taught me that I must stay, you taught me not to give in.
You taught me that with time things will change for the better
Dues and time. Just begin!
And so I did, not knowing I was laying bricks and foundation.
And when it finally hit me, it was too late. I'd already started to Listen.