a feeble mess

why because i dream
midnight mid-stream
and i age a little every day
recognize i can only do for myself
now what i did with you
for you

all those years
because at first it was so fun
and i was ready i was young
but in time you took control
took advantage took hold
and i followed gave in
gave what you needed to feed you
kept you going strong, partially for me
when indeed i was right
you said it yourself
you couldn't do it on your own

but you took it as a message to rely
to expect such things
knowing i'd pull you along
expectinging i'd beg you plead with you
needing me to pull you out of your bouts floundering misery
well, thats not my style
maybe i gave you that impression
my sometimes fear my neediness inability to do it alone
when i was always there ready and willing
wanting you to drive me too
believing in togetherness we do
not knowing we'd move mountains
the power of two
but in the end i knew
i wasn't in this for you you you
there had to be something for me

and damn i've paid my dues with you
money, time, me always going to you
in your space, doing it your way, your pace
waiting for you, running for you
being sharp on my toes always for you
and now that hard work will be spent on me
only me
because you took it away from me

you still try and
i don't blame you
for i've blugeouned you
allowed to fester what was natural for you

but you still in the few minutes i give you
or try to take
manage to steal control pilfer onto you
reminding that your judging
expecting it to shift my views
reverse the direction i will go
god, you must think i'm weak
or hope

it wasn't weakness that you experienced with me my friend
it was determination and compromise
for the good and the better of much bigger things

and you must think i don't judge
your sickly ways
so unattractive
i have no desire to be near anymore

and you try to control
with what little control you have of your life
mine

god, it's so manipulative
but i know you only want what is best for you
trying to find it in a crazy scary world
and it's sad to see you a feeble mess
lost and confused
but geez you have no clue

and one day i hope you will see
the world will not wait for you