don't forget

i am the get shit done work mad like a frenzy bitch
i'm the wham bam thank you ma'am gotta get to my ass to the next gig can't stay too long chic
i partied with the best of them, gained hours but lost daylight and weight, and now i'm all done
but don't forget i can still drink and smoke like a champ your ass under the table shit
some want to control me, some want to behold me
because i'm a sucker for an old friend with a good look, or the gift of gab
at least i was
but what you may have forgotten is that i'm not into sticking around bullshit
no whiny clingy babies, or posturing needy ladies who think i want what they do, think as they do, should look, feel and live as they do, that just because i did that shit when i was young doesn't mean i haven't moved on or should move on with them in their worlds where i don't wanna belong because i don't wanna be alone. nope.
i can dine alone, drink alone, smoke alone, live alone, party alone
i do it all alone
and i've moved on from you needy ones
you are not children, not my children, stop acting like i want a piece of your recipe for madness just because i've let you get away with it for so many years. so many years wondering if and when you would change, grow up.
because years went by and i wasn't fierce, didn't say what i was thinking, didn't wanna hurt your feelings for fear of losing your friendship, but those days are going going gone girls.

judging is always part of the game.

with friends like these who needs enemies
so the saying goes
i'm not the stay at home and cook for my man girl
i'm not the barefoot and pregnant sit by the phone girl
i'm not the sheep, or a follow the crowd girl
i'm a believer in my own, a do-er, a fighter, a get out there and winner
and i reflect on the damage i have done in my time
i know i've been wrong and split some hairs in my mad frenzied need to get ahead of myself whirl
and i say sorry to you because i led you to believe i would never judge you
when in actuality i was weighing your good, your bad, your evil, in stacks in my room
pages of wealth i've dedicated to you
to tear apart and depict you all of you
in my need to be needed by you
by some entity larger than me

because i judge, indeed it's true, and my hypocrisy was my fear of reciprocity

judging is part of the game