after all this anyway

i fell off the tracks again, how did i get so far off
the destined path, and strength of these weeks past

just a few words, a night of sound, loud ringing in my ears
tears never came, but I sat there in the pit

i'm turning it off now for sure. there is hope but type-a
blood is not in me. it could if i lose sleep

and i do anyway all night tossing and turning
what do i care about what you think
after all this anyway

we shared in its honesty is good and its not like i'm cut from this cloth
silently go forward closing this book its long finished chapters overdue
in a library without a view

the silence says more than words ever did. i have always said that to you
and i know you know he knows we all know whats really going on here

the weak one. the one who lacks self respect and dignity
is the last one standing with a smile
but tears somewhere behind lost in the embers of the spirit

there is no fight, nothing left to say, we all know what must happen
and how we then must find a way

the bolshoi dances like a mid summer swan, and lets her skirt flow
ballerina in the air, your dance of your dream somewhere smoked in your hair

and i hold down the keys of some song silhouette, dreaming of these teams
we always felt we deserved and could get, we worked at

but things fall apart and change never fails. it's time for me to collect
and build a world left on hold