Winter December Dark Ale

Coffee computer traffic crazy

Fashion shows no mercy
Fashion knows no mercy

I can't find my name tag
But my style is a little forgiving 
If you have style make it forgiving

This Los Angeles haze is making my brain hazy
But I love this time of year
Winter December dark ale

Love and Sex in the Social Network Days

I love seeing your posts
You're beautiful the way you are
From a far
And up close
Next time ill love you better
Than I've ever done before
They say third times a charm
Better than before
She calls it falling in love sex
I call it loving our selves sex
Seeing myself sex
In you sex
Loving like we do sex
See you next time sex

I slip and fall but once I get up
I recall
It's better than the obligatory Sundays yuck days no sex days of yesteryear

Hope and Tolerance

How do you ruin a good thing
With a haze in your eyes that carries you thru city to city
In excess you manage to expunge the memories of what once was
There's hope and there's tolerance
They're not the same
They're not the same
The pursuit of happiness is not found in your liquor

Happy Holidays

Roaming around best buy with tears in my heart and apathy in my eyes
Do you ever feel like you've done it all? 

Now
There's nothing left to try or prove
It's just time to live and be
Happy holidays to you and me

The Year of Many Friends and Many Plans

Sometimes I like to ride the bus he said,
with the brides on public transportation
that was after a bomb was dropped
another one perhaps
He's always got something new up his sleeve
I wonder what it will be next, and I busy myself

With this project and that
this idea and that
plans bubbling over next to my bed
a million things unfinished

Till I come home today and I learn to say no
to this girl and that
frivolity, night clubs, and suburban friends
what's the difference I wonder
between impulsiveness and spontaneity
Is doing what I want,
isn't it all the same?

'Twas was the year of many friends
But not anymore

I'm tired of losing focus.
Of trying to fit it all in.
Of trying to be the nice girl.
I've regretted it too much.

He said, he thought it was a play on Geisha
I wanted to go that night
He made me laugh.

I go when I wanna go. The difference is in the knowledge.
Of what you want, and what you need.

He said, it reminded him of beat poetry.
She said I talked like she sang.
They were the best compliment I received.
It was the best compliment I received.

And I woke up with Toronto on the brain.

He said El Salvador. She said, Thailand.
I said Yes, Yes, Yes, but dream of the Sagittarian City
for the writing sabbatical, and of course the New York album.

The Day I Fell Out of Love

Do you remeber the day you fell out of love?
I do.
Clear as day
Falling in love was like being hit in the head
Falling out of love felt like being punched in the gut

Did someone tell you you could never come back?
So I stayed.
And stayed.
And sure enough when I left, that's what he said
And I never turned back
And it was okay

I walked by a beautiful house yesterday
It was like a beautiful dream
I thought it would save me
I thought the beauty could save me

Today I walked by the same house
And it glittered a little less
Our eyes get accustomed to the beauty
But there is safety in being there before
I've been here before
But now I'm bored
Because the love is gone
Or was it all along
Just an illusion


messages.

Golf

Let's go play golf on Thanksgiving Day
You Say, A band that plays together stays together
Let's go play tennis on Sunday
Let's go out on a sunny day

This is how the cards get played
When you live your life in this crazy way
This is what you do at the end of the day
Live it like you wanna, live it like you mean it

Let's go have a party on a Saturday
What's new darling, let's not today
Let's stay at home and watch the kids play
Live it like you wanna, live it like you mean it

This is how the cards get played
When you live your life in this crazy way
This is what you do at the end of the day
Sometimes life gets hard and we run away
But this is what we do at the end of the day

Your Girlfriend Your Fling

Thanks for the call and the late night friends
thanks for the reminders and the memories we made
thanks for planting seeds she and he
sharing your energies with me
I asked you why you cared, and you just looked at me

I don't mean to make it awkward, I'm just no good at riddles
I always state the obvious and accept the emptiness it brings
I've got a million friends boy
I've got a million friends girl

Staring down the house
A million pictures made
a view at 6am
is it the 3rd night of this game

Is this what they call feelings?
when you suddenly start to care
start to shift your attentions
from elsewhere

You said, you were angry
I asked you what was wrong
you said this thing we're doing
something new is going on

I never said forever
I never said a thing
I don't want to meet your mom
And, I don't want to meet your friends
I definitely don't want to meet her
Your girlfriend, your fling

The Yes Girls

Not only do the Yes girls get all the guys, all the toys,
and all the action,
all the parties, all the fun

The yes girls get all the work, the pain, the blame game
the yes girls are the scape goat girls, the sex addict girls
Are the party is better- than dinner girls, unless you want me to make you dinner girl,
come over then girl, then come over here, girl
cozy up with me, girl

The Yes girls get lots of love from here and there, they get it from everywhere
the Yes girls get help from boys who love their highs and love their hugs
Yes, girl you can stay the night, just crash here you know? Yes girl
Just sleep girl, no need to worry, girl.

But sometimes the Yes girls wanna hightail it from the noise. Not tonight boys. Once in a while a Yes girl needs to crash in her own bed with her own toys.

The Yes girls take what they can, and sometimes get saved inch by inch
of these things
by those who cannot save themselves
The yes girl takes what she needs to save herself, but you must save yourself.

Your Mother's Tears

I can't stand your laziness
your toenails I despise
Your lack of motivation
your self loathing deprication
open doors and buzzing flies

you're sitting in the same chair
the same boat for 50 years
your hair is amiss and you're enslaved to
your fears

so put it off, another day, another week
another year

shave the years off your life with every
single misstep of misfortune

blame it on your lack of luxury
blame it on your mother's tears

We all know the truth too far gone
your life never shifts gears

you pontificate oh it will the tides are changing so you say
but never take another shiver down the silver-ladden stairs

the dark room
the sleeping till noon
the waiting waiting waiting
for someone else to take charge of your life
because you have nothing to do but pray
and wait and never ever ever change

blame it on your Mississippi mother's rage and incest saddled years
blame it on misfortune
blame it on your fears
blame it on the shifting stars
blame it on the moon
blame it on the weather
blame it on some fool
blame it on yesterday
blame it on the food
blame it on tomorrow
But me, I hate to point the finger but I

blame it on you

The Mystery of 1000 Nights

I'm not who you think I am
I'm not who you think me to be
Be it pretty princess or ladylike

Next thing you know it's 8am
My lips are sealed
Not trying to hide the devil from your eyes

My skin changes colors
You can see things aren't the way they seem
A false dream you once had of me
A nightmare 
You wake up in the dark

Something's not right 
with me or my friends
Hiding in the shadows
Coming out after dark
In your peripheral you can make out our face

The smile behind our eyes hides 
the mystery of 1000 nights

Fake as it seems

I'm so tired of this lack of RnR
Rest and Relaxation
I'm so tired of the old ways of got to convince you I'm cool

Just because I dated women and got high far too much
Yea, that means I'm cool
When in fact
But you didn't instead you hated me
Banished me, vanished me, vanquished me, relinquishing your dreams
I'm tired even today after all these years the way you hated
still seeps in me, sits within me, rises to the surface when I see the exchanges
Your camaraderie fake as it seem

Trying to Derail Me

You live in fear, you wanna put the fear in me
you say they're gonna come
they're gonna take our dignity
I have to say it
It's just another infamy

Why don't you just do good work
and stop trying to derail me
I'm just trying to do good work
and you trying to put the fear of god in me
Are you doing God's work
in the name of blasphemy

I've got enough obstacles in my mentality
a mind which listens to much
has too much empathy
and all the energies
all trying to derail me

And if I seem distant it's self protection
killing the spiders in my brain
that have been living there too long
living there for too longe

Love The Worldly Way

You can Love and not Love the worldly way
the way they tell us we need to Love
to be in Love
the supposed ways of Love

You can be in Love in many ways
and not be joint at the hip
and suffocating jealous possesion ways
you can Love and not need
you can Love and not want
you can Love without desire
you can Love and just be
Love

You can live Love
You can breathe Love
You can share Love
and exist in the free space
Love is in you
Love is inside you
Love is beside you
Love is within you

Love is your smile
smiling to yourself within
Love is settled way beneath your skin

It's not too late for Love
It's never too late to begin

Simple Girl

I'm inspired but tired
On Sunday I wanted New York
On Monday it was Italy
Today I want simplicity
I wanna hide from the world
and linger without duplicity

She said to me once, so many years ago.
You're a Simple Girl. While she robbed me of my innocence and sucked me dry.
Her double lives of honesty and lies, deceit and compromise.
Then she'd decide. She would always decide

 I am a simple girl, to which I wish to return
A book, a song, then sleep will come.

I am a simple girl, alone and simple.
I wish I'd told her then.

Albatross

Albatross all week in my head 
around my neck 
about this guy, this thing, these things
and all those suffering in the world.
Because even in my lucky world
This never ends
I've been privileged for 40 years
Something my eastern sisters will strive for lives to come
As their daughters and sons get closer
I've been here forever
In the drunken haze I fall around again
a lady beautiful ensmired with my drive diligence ambition
And we laugh and talk and hug and she's gone
Los Angeles rock city  but lawyers doctors and rockers alike come to my party and share their drugs
My doctor says gluten compromises mt immune system
But cocaine strengthens my blood
Don't worry sister you may die soon but drugs will strengthen your soul.

In this drunken haze I live out my days in sunny Los Angelees

Rich succesful happy blissful
And High

An Old Man

You pouting your lips befuddled and overthinking
and I think to myself I love you old man
You once were a baby,  I knew you in your youth
but not really that long
it must have been a dream
a distant memory
of when you were saddled and crazy
manic and hazy
crashing your self into lazy
upon lazy
I managed to know you and get over the untruth and see you for you
and now you're old
where did the time go?

You once were a flamboyant flaming raving mad lunatic
annoying and disheveled
but now you've come into your own
the side that I love is coming through more and more
and Ahhh I see now it's an armor
that I find sexy
a way that is undeniably you

Fucking Old

You can't help who you love
They hold up the sky while we piss down below
They love us in their emptiness their sorrow
They love us even if they've nowhere to go

 You can't help who you love
the ones who suffer in their empty hearts
who salvage inside your depressed and calloused soul
still loving empty lonely hair pulling girl
you can't help who you love

 Tonight I'm going to find some lesbians
Tonight I'm going to find the ladies
Eating babies in Los Angeles

 You can't help who you love
the water is falling from above
the sky is ripping apart in pieces
he's sitting on his carcass

He can't help me, he can't help who he loves.
 Somedays love turns to love
in love and dripping blood

Somedays all you need is a hug
Most days love is too much of a drug

Isolation and despair take hold
the lonely cloudy days I can no longer take
empty as the day is long the night is dark
and my world is falling apart

 There is too much time and life is too fucking long
You can't help who you love
It's a fucking shame and it's getting fucking old.
I'm so tired of this rigmarole.

We're all artists

We're all artists in this town
In the same boat
You and I
Whether you've succumbed to the 9 to 5
or you live in a cardboard box
We're all artists
You and I

We're all creators in this scene
Friends of mine
I don't see you very often
But a blurb here and there
about a show, a success of some other
I see you
I hear you
I applaud you

We're all struggling to make our mark
We're all struggling to make a dime
We're all working hard all the time
On our craft
For our lives
It's not easy for you and I
I need more sleep most of the time

But somedays I strike a balance between creation and art
And to that end I'm working honing that part

We're all trying yes we are
We are all slaves to the sound
We're all working the day around
Hoping someday we'll be found

I No Longer Desire Things Like A Child

The sky opened up today
As you spoke those words I'd heard so many times before
But In the light of this new day.

I'm sorry I'm not in love like before
But not sorry those days were cloudy confused desperate
Today so clear these skies
Not a single cloud in my eye.

Your steadfast strength
I cannot own
Nor do I wish to anymore
By your side
I hope to help you rise

This is the 2nd half of my life.

You still make me cry
Tears spill from my eyes
But it's just the old stuffs I say
The fears of our old deaths
Trauma seeps in
I still dream of you at night
And dream about a life of ours
But things are different now
I no longer desire things like a child


Except to live my life the way I've got to do
Within me inside you if it means 


Things are different now
Time to see things in a different light.

Saving of Souls and Lives

On saving these souls our souls our lives
I've got to save us from your own demise
Traffic and ties
Ladies of the night
I'd say it's about time
Before we cross the line
Never to come back
Never to go home

Music and cycles
Planets that move
stories and projects
and subtle things groove

I've got to find us and reach deep inside
I've got to gather us out of this pride
Because in the end I need this also
to save my life