It Seems Like it's Me

You don't like anything at all... not even yourself
some call it insecurity, and my psychobabble friend would call it
low ego strength

I've been trying to be nice for many years it seems
but you still hate and perpetuate the distaste
distrust for yourself and in between

and it seems like its at me you're always pointing the finger
and you make it seem so crystal clear
you make it so it seems like it's me

And years and years of studying Psychology it would seem
that I would have a clue and stop the ass for you I'm kissing
for trying to make you happy, comfortable and safe
when all you do is continue to hate.

And, I am not ok with it at all.
All you people and the people who you hate, and you act like you hate me
have nothing nice to say, look away, dis dis dis or avoid avoid away
I know it can't be me, because I'm really nice most of the time
I know it can't be me because I go out of my way for you all the time
to say nice things to you
and
recognize you

I know it's deep within you and has to be inside you
some fear you harbor about me,
because you really hate yourself
and you are dishonest about it to your face
though your hate runs so deep
Can't you see it's you, not me?
you do it so well
You make it seem like it's me.

In turn, I do these things to test you
I am now admitting to myself, go the extra mile for you
Putting myself out on this shelf
One last gesture of kindness to see if you will take
the bone I throw out to you and if you'll respond in jest
but when all I get is silence or solemn words with no expression
I know I know it right there and then
I have done nothing wrong than try to say "Hey, you are my friend."

But you'd rather spit in my face, and have nothing nice to say
throw my friendship away
what choice do I have
than to simply walk away
I don't need to be treated that way

My friend says it's better to feel sorry for you than hurt or shed any tears
For it's really you who are suffering when you spread your diseased wings
It's hard to feel your pain when you point the finger
make me feel so little, spreading your inner torture
especially when I have tried to be nothing but your friend.