The Way We Once Were

Finally, when you look that Jesus in the eye, and self soothe your midnight cries
recognize the bitterness is holding you back blocking you from growing
wings, even though you are still flying, and still somehow learning

because we continue to move forward even in our ruts
and we continue to grow, even if it is around the gut

I'm just thankful for the fear, that I do not have
that many do, that holds them back

You talk about despair and cravings as the beast within you grows
you talk about it's kicking as the alien inside you bellows
you wish you could go and see you favorite artist but he doesn't really know
late nights at the room of elbow, a long long time ago

you're married now, as I walk around single and alone
you wonder out loud what happened why we're always on opposite ends of the pole
like a teeter totter I say that's how we stay in balance
and you disagree, it's just a matter of guilt, loneliness and impatience
that prevents us from being together like we were once

It doesn't even phase me, as I listen to your cries
his possession, his obsession, holding on to you so tight
I was in that room for years, stuck and suffocating
The freedom I have now is just too liberating
to go back to any semblance of ownership
No one owns me now,
No one owns me now, not that they ever did,
but tried to
oh how they tried and it's just part of human nature
to love and to fear, to love and to fear that our loved ones will disappear
I just can't do it again
I don't think I can ever do it again

The girls all compliment my new "special" friends
trying to encourage me to get tied down again
It sounds wonderful to be strapped to an ideal
that is attached to an individual with minds and games and fears
that are not my own, so not my own
I don't have the energy to own, something so not my own
When I've got my own to own

So ladies I know, misery loves company, and I love that you love
someone special in your life, to cherish
it's nice to be loved
but it's the way I once was, and a road I can never go down again
so I say, but who really knows, just know that I can't tolerate ownership and posession
the way we are told.
the way we once were