Motor Del Toro

Changing my stage name..... What think you?

Sharing the Cart and the Horse

Several weeks from you no word and clearly you've been hard at work
Today suddenly posts galore
you say you've got a new band
it's been under wraps
no one questions where you were
unlike me sharing the cart and the horse

so here I expect to be blown away
and of course I'm so kind showering kisses and compliments
so nice
when suddenly I hear the distortions and rage coming from the machines
dissonant and fades away too much the same out of tune out of place
I really hope this is making your happy day

I have made some choices in my life, and sacrificed so much more
like comfort and ego and self and soul to sell to sell
millions for gold

I have excavated and removed dirt clutter and long long days with no end
until the sun goes down and comes up again never ending with friends
those days are long gone though people cannot comprehend
I'm still running down this path running running to the mend

All the holes that get reopened when the empty souls come home
fills up space that I can no longer hold.

Days of Demons (formerly titled Cunt)

So pretentiously you think you've got something over the world
So full of yourself to think you've got something we want

It's cute indeed but perhaps you shouldn't build yourself up the way you do
We do not have the time for you and your measly piddly piddly doo

So many cooks you've got in your kitchen, but no one can fulfill your vision.

I don't use the C word very often, but when the realization hits that I'm expected to bend bend bend
for measly minimalities, I know you must not think me too highly
And I gotta take the high road
I gotta High tail it on down the road.

It took me a minute to link the links and undo suffrage.
It took me a minute to share the folly
but when all was said and done and the reminders of my integrity snapped me back into shape
rejection and dejection and it's finality
I think the final will be a slap in your face

The voices of goodness and positivity are what feed me continually
Keep me in this place to face the next days of demons ahead of me.

Blathering Idiots about Nothing Much

Whisper on foot on your way to see the couple...you're seething with desire.
i'll be back online in a bit to see if you've responded.
In the meantime I'll go lay a track or two or ten
even though I've done this song a million times over a million times to begin
I've not the time to fraternize your sexual desires these long lost articles of clothing
lost in a series of words on some household appliance
heating up in this heat, burning up in this heat

Old steam punk lady large back arms tattoeed you were once so pretty
and still so lovely and sweet and nice
but oh so insecure jealous and envious as you drink yourself into a stupor
you used to be so pretty, and still sometimes mostly nice
except when you think she might steal your man
it's not she you fear
and you can't be warm anymore

Long days on weekends too much by your side
but I can't go out, for going out will take away and bare leaks and holes
will poke air into the core of this here soul

I've been a hermetic recluse
just trying to finish this record
I'm just trying to finish this record.

Everyone wants more...

I love these women but the nights on the scene well that was a fluke
and I've loved too many people in my past but somehow tried to find the
numeric or planetary connection to find the ones to suit
Sometimes one would come along whose presence or love was so much comfort
but became too much to taller big to bigger, small to smaller

I can't seem to keep it together
I can't seem to keep it together

I love too hard and I fall too fast and I'm much to needy to fill this glass
I've got words and guitars and work, a mom and a dad who are much too sad
to enjoy their twilight
For their lot was much too ... much too much loss

And everyone wants something
And everyone wants more
When things turn to bore they turn to the bottle
which eventually turns into more...

And, I'm turning into a bore
or
I go out seeking to whore
more love and touch and hands and such
from the rock n roll boys and girls

Everyone, including myself, always just wanting more

Especially Today

An emotional holocaust
death and morbidity in between
I suck up the energy and spit it out in your face
for these moments it does not erase

Sadness and dying are at the forefront today
even though the sun is shining
I'm scared and anxious just the same.

I know you can sense it, and I don't know what to say
I'm in a "funk" as they'd call it
just give me my space

Do I miss the city and the safety it brung?
Confined spaces and cleanliness
Feng shui playing a role
in the old tattered house we try to mold

I know I should be happy
My life is richer than before
But the sadness of his energy
a life of mine old

Clings in the air of my heart it grabs hold
It strips away the fullness and richness and bold
bringing deja' vu to my mind and sadness and cold

I'm tired of pretending everything is okay
That I'm happy and flourishing, back to my old ways
When in reality, there is emptiness, suffering and decay
I'm mourning a loss still
body, mind, heart and soul
Especially today

This Well Runeth Clean

I read a sad thing today, that I'd written long ago
About a man with a heavy heart and his head hanging low
How he would still continue and come on home
How he was my partner my rock my stone
God, it dug deep and hurt my gut and split my spleen
but no tears came out this time
This time this well runeth clean

I can see how I'm still here in the woods, way deep
I can barely see the sky peeking through in between
glimpses of brightness and bright blue and days wherein,
I smile and appreciate, embracing freedom again

A Choice had to be made, based on honesty and truth
You knew what you were doing, for years and years you knew
You consciously knew what had to be done
because for fear you were hanging on
for fear and for love
don't assault the truth, you really wanted it to change
you tried and you knew

you caused pain that shouldn't have hurt
you were blamed for disasters that could've been overlooked
you were accused and shooed and forced to choose

And today, it seems as though a replacement has been made
but even so it's not ideal nor relative nor similar, not same
and it's more realistic sometimes since you are still so far deep
to see things of a friend, a confidante and a support

Give things time to grow, giving things time to heal
and remember now more than before
this decision you made by sheer strength, force and will
forced you into the darkness,
a cold and unknown world
Alone.
This for many years you knew
You feared and you knew.
And here it is now, True.

But truth has it's price....
it's for the greater good.

Everything, Nothing. You.
I try to remember these things today
on the eve of such an important day,
But it doesn't change the fact.
Sadness, truth, emptiness, truth, honesty, truth
love, life, freedom, I could not have had it with you.