I No Longer Desire Things Like A Child

The sky opened up today
As you spoke those words I'd heard so many times before
But In the light of this new day.

I'm sorry I'm not in love like before
But not sorry those days were cloudy confused desperate
Today so clear these skies
Not a single cloud in my eye.

Your steadfast strength
I cannot own
Nor do I wish to anymore
By your side
I hope to help you rise

This is the 2nd half of my life.

You still make me cry
Tears spill from my eyes
But it's just the old stuffs I say
The fears of our old deaths
Trauma seeps in
I still dream of you at night
And dream about a life of ours
But things are different now
I no longer desire things like a child


Except to live my life the way I've got to do
Within me inside you if it means 


Things are different now
Time to see things in a different light.

Saving of Souls and Lives

On saving these souls our souls our lives
I've got to save us from your own demise
Traffic and ties
Ladies of the night
I'd say it's about time
Before we cross the line
Never to come back
Never to go home

Music and cycles
Planets that move
stories and projects
and subtle things groove

I've got to find us and reach deep inside
I've got to gather us out of this pride
Because in the end I need this also
to save my life

Gay is Rock 'n' Roll but better.

Visions of power lesbians dance in my head
The Mormons, the Prostitutes and some Rock 'n' Roll

She says
The straight men are all just upset
The gay men are out having all the fun
Having all the sex
Always getting laid.

If only they could decipher the anger, I say

Except the rock n roll guys they get the best of both worlds
Dress up like women and fuck who they want
Do what they want
She says.

I say, gay is Rock 'n' Roll but better.
Gay has always been better.

In these days my photo will change
As I will wear more chains and more chains
And he points says I came across different
He kinda thought he was alone
I've been feeling this way for years
Since I started
Airy-fairy hippy-dippy sexology is not my style
From the mountain towns
Gay atheist educators, we're from downtown
But I don't say this out loud.
Don't want to offend the others by being too proud.
But

Me too, I think, as a creator I don't need to say it out loud.

Pretending I'm Brave

I'm not brave
If I was I'd be somewhere out in the cold
Maybe not alone
Braving with my soul

But I'm not brave
I've nestled down and playing a role
one which I abhor

I'm not brave
I'm not adored
on the contrary
faking it
when I'm really bored

Cozy little family
You don't really love me
How could you?
You don't even know me
Everyone just going along

Consumed by woes of credit and taxes
of paychecks and masses
shielding ourselves with maskes
laxes Demascus Rose.

I'm so not brave, just confident with airs
and the gift of gab
well spoken with an air of royalty
and the gift of gab.

I'll probably have a drink and let the moon do it's duty
And then I'll probably sink into a heavy sleep.
Nothing will change and I'll continue to pretend that I'm brave.

Of Withdrawing and Creation

This is exactly what I need
I've got insight and ideas brimming at my knees
I've got memories and dramas of things I once believed
I've got rhythm and blues and a blouse that needs hemming
shoes that are scuffed and ladies in waiting

This is exactly what I need

I've got the things which no longer deserve my time
but that which I still deliver
people and places, creations and things
manifestations of projects I did as a fling
prolific he calls it
though others may call it flighty

I've got to keep moving
on and on away from things which hold me back
keep me in place by fear of withdrawing 
a fear of withdrawing
And continue this creation


I've got songs coming out of my left ear and each shoe
I've got a message in a bottle that says
"I am going to eat you"
I've got movies and books and words galore
I've got business ideas that'll deplete you to the floor
so let's stop this madness this mayhem this biting
let's stop this insulting, general hating and fighting

Eat your veggies if you want desert
and be the last one standing if you want to get there first
And stop lying to yourself that all the rest matters
accept the truth as it hits you face like a mad hatter
Sing the songs out loud at the top of your lungs
And feed your babies the best food even if it means moving on

And as my mother told me once,
"Follow the road that is in front of you"
It's there if you look, right there in front of you
Forming, can you see it with your every move.

Ghost of Halloween Past

Still hanging on after years and years and years of despot
and drone
and knowing what I know
still seeking approval when you are long gone
dead in the ground
it should be
for things are long gone.

Sure there are flights of fancy
you come when you're around
sure there are fits of energy
you call when you are one
and you pulled it together for me
one entire week of reverie
and beyond that there is nothing
nothing left of you and me

I still call you my friend though I beg to differ
I make the efforts and without alcohol
you wither

but in times you've come through
because deep down you do care
deep down past all the judgment
self doubt and critical analytical
there is a creative mind that cares.

and after a night of creative inspiration
with open hearts and new joie de vivre
reminders that x is
a generation that feeds it's souls.
I feel the judgment slip away for a moment
for a moment I am free
and recognize the judgment
is in me
I carry the torch within me
a seed you planted
that still haunts me
like the ghost of halloween past.
to the detriment of my own soul.
And what is there to see is that the only judge left
is me.

Sing Unto You

Singing sighing
I was, eyelash, eyeliner
who cares it's all the same
the words will come when the sun sets
it's not time for that, midnight
the sound comes first, middle of the night
the melody comes at 1AM
the music first midnight
the rock n roll. all night
lady shining light

I've no time for words these days
but the lavishly singing I want not to behave
I just want to come home
and sing sing unto you
my guitar in my arms
and sing unto you