Ghost of Halloween Past

Still hanging on after years and years and years of despot
and drone
and knowing what I know
still seeking approval when you are long gone
dead in the ground
it should be
for things are long gone.

Sure there are flights of fancy
you come when you're around
sure there are fits of energy
you call when you are one
and you pulled it together for me
one entire week of reverie
and beyond that there is nothing
nothing left of you and me

I still call you my friend though I beg to differ
I make the efforts and without alcohol
you wither

but in times you've come through
because deep down you do care
deep down past all the judgment
self doubt and critical analytical
there is a creative mind that cares.

and after a night of creative inspiration
with open hearts and new joie de vivre
reminders that x is
a generation that feeds it's souls.
I feel the judgment slip away for a moment
for a moment I am free
and recognize the judgment
is in me
I carry the torch within me
a seed you planted
that still haunts me
like the ghost of halloween past.
to the detriment of my own soul.
And what is there to see is that the only judge left
is me.