halfway dressed

sleep comes over
and creates a lull

lazy bones i wanna fall
too many hours until the morning
awake early in the morning
homeward bound
stuck in reverse

i wanna get out get started
but i can't get motivated
undecided

still is too early
i should be in bed
but i couldn't

had to think
too many things

now already started
halfway dressed
gotta get out there and
move my muscles

make him some coffee
i'm just like my mother
but motherhood is not my career
and i'm still a child
immature
suckling

take charge
live in confidence
not out of obligation
or fear of regret

no one else has to live your life
no one else has to live this life
no else else has to live my life
in my shoes
in my head
so do what you please
do what you will
and let the others live for regret

the phone ring

today and
several times a day
an invite here
an invite tonight
the hot place to be
a sister
a birthday

gotta wash the hair
the car
work late
the laundry
how many excuses can there be
till the calls stop
one day

neediness has finally escaped
hollowness has been replaced
comfort in the own skin
alone
the only fear
is that it will someday
re-enter and reposess

and the crave of dolls that now enslave
the nightlife the parties
the phone ring

but today see the flee
far away
leave this life
and its frivolity, friends and flimsy
far behind

a new city
a new look
a new outlook

with books and sound
and passion old re-new

she's gone so far away
they say
never to come back
never did she want to stay
she hated it
they say
she hated who she beccame
they say
some if true
i say
but the truth is always gray

strong today
in knowing that their presence
somehwat annoying
somewhat a blessing
outgrown

grow old alone

fashion can save your life

fashion can save your life
spending time on style
not money
safety in clothes
you love
be brave little one
you will live

the powerless child

sitting here semi nervous
when will the animal awake

so many things you told me
reminded me
we're all living so wrong

but what capacity
do women and men ever get along?
you wanna know what is missing?

something is always missing i said
but i pretend thats good enough

i'm sitting here in tip toe
when will the children awake
the powerless mother
the powerless child

yet we talk with others in mind
as if theirs is worse than mine

are you kidding me?
one verbal slap is all needed to retreat
away from those who
angry depressed confused within
try to stand thier conflicted soul
in front
blocking
attempts to brainwash
drop their baggage at your feet
i barely know you
who are you?
why do you think you know so much about anything?

how can you walk the path that steers clear

i'm in a difficult place
i hear the springs move
but no inhaling
love is gray

i jump from thought to thought
but persons who are injust
all filling the same anger
in my heart

because it is all about control
of the mind
everyone has an idea
of how it should be done

mean people don't have a room in my home

destination within

"how you gonna win, if you ain't right within?"
-Lauryn Hill


on the road again
about to get on the plane again
this is how i like it

no desire to down the bottle
just hang out with an old friend

filling up the well
inspiration is mind
inspiration in mine

and it's time to let it in
to let it all the way in
not let the powers retard me
the thoughts provoke me
that say sit still
don't move
trick thy self
you should be happy
when your fingers don't move

it's that time again
let the flying begin
5 hours here
4 hours tomorrow
destination within

-motor wilson

cheering teen america

i walk this trail
a path from my past
past the old park
near your old house

i walk this old path
now i walk fast
with my hat
pulled down like a mask

i hide from suburbia
big and sunburnt burbia
tv dinner reality show mania
running past swimming pools
shaded peaceful areas
cheering teen america

blonde beauty i was never
ethnic beauty so unwanted
scary to the masses

i think now, its ok where i am
glad its not where i was
with you then
stuck in homogenous
ville

you were stronger, you were ok
i was not
i wanted more

you showed them
to my amazement
you showed me
to my face

and still i know
somewhere deep down
that fabulousity was mine first

always was me, not you
despite the road you took
despite my gut
my lack of will
your perseverence

for somehow you figured it out
while i was still gloating

and my coming may be late
but i believe it will be there
and it will be bright

if only i were able to go to new york

a piano awaits me

"and i rode along side
and i rode along side
till you lost me there
in the open road" -Tori Amos

This weekend, was going to take the guitar
on up with me now
was gonna pull the strings right up with me now
but i had a better idea
since i'm out here on my own now
can't count on this now, ever? no more

and people from this past
try to wash up on these shores
i'm not ready to face them now

not while you take the time
to think
insinuate
this may not go on
then slap me awake
when you come around

i can't take the time to sit around anymore
the words keep coming out of me
the lyrics in my brain
inspiration has never been so strong

so i'm lucky you've released me
for my life will not wait
for you to figure out
what you wanna do

This weekend, was going to sling on the guitar
strapped onto my back
then i remembered
the strings of
a piano awaits me
beyond the fog

a piano is tuning into my extremities
into my sitar
into my guitar