Killing Time and Sanity Slips

Shears in the nursery, life by a wasps nest.
hoe weeds then potted cactus in the rough.

Ladies staring me down in their langley loving gowns
friends so many who don't frown
I can sense it Don't get me down

Licking things together we wander
Family fidelity this town
Slipping sliding I'm gyrating under
I don't mean to scare there
But a Change is abound

Freaking myself out
Alone and ablunder
Is there room to have you living here under
The same roof tin roof Rustin
Would you care sleepovers and other boys
trustin the gardenin the pullin of weeds
Laughter and love helps me with the things that I need

But generous love will batten down the hatches at the beach
And leave me in the desert cultivating in this heat
Even though I can hear the girls sayin no girl no
Freedom amidst the memories makes it bittersweet and sanity slips
That's when I want recognizance near
That's when I miss recognizance here
Even though I say it's over my dear, there is something in my heart
In this house, that tells me
In order to be, I cannot go on living here.

Alone with the kitty. Who makes me sad and lonely.
These bohemian streets.
Though I love the thought. I'm only
killing time here.

The Owner of Encino

He's gutting windows and popping pills
He's got seven children and golden gills
He's got wings coming out of his shoulder
And a belt made of steel

I'm sad and sickened and horrified at once
He said he'd make it all better and continued to pounce
His time is drawing nearer to an end he's not 27 anymore
By this age things must be underway you are getting kind of old

He's up to his old habits shopping nabisco biscuit
He's got no insight so very little control
He's jaded and he's bitter
He's not willing to own

It's empty where his heart once stood
His children are alone
A caregiver he could've been but unwilling to conform
even a little bit to grow away from where he's gone
Unwilling to let go
The kids neglected with no clothes

I'm shopping for things to fill up this
empty perception of a basket
But then I turned the corner
and found the shopping cart was full.
I am always willing to find ways to avoid the eternal casket
When the empire of Encino falls
I'll take it to the hills.

Hollow Fear Pain Grind

Who are those people I've played in rock bands with?
Some olympic medal souls cracking of a whip
Stealing of hearts, bodies and mind, including mine
left over hollow fear pain grind

God I followed with all my heart
One foot behind the other
Deliberate head down smart
Marching willing purposefully blind
Swallowing masterful dysfunction arrogance
Drinking it down with wine

I've begged and begged each and everyone to stay
Down on my knees, face tear-stained
But in the end I could not hold what was not
meant to stay

Some say
Part fabulous, party dirty
one day clean,
Next day tattered, disheveled, rock n' roll queen
Living some circus life vagabond dream

I haven't managed to love you the right way
We haven't managed to meet in the middle
half way
She gives - we take, You take - I leave but nothing,
nowhere, never, no how, never land seems to breathe

Giving soft prodding along
Diligently loving gilded and gray
But I feel accomplished
I gave it my all
I'm not saying stop, goodbye
Nothing like that this fall

For seasons change and feelings
fold
old mold or turn to gold
In the spring
we shed our skin
me and love, rock 'n roll soul
Will live on and reconvene

But I am letting go of the body
for that which too tightly
I could not control.