beauty

god this week just went by and it just keeps on going
from a planned night of C-, to an impromptu evening that turned into an A+
if only i could sleep all day tomorrow and dream

but the work it keeps calling me like sweat from a ditch i myself dug
a mountain i reached too soon

and i woke sad for her pain
she competes with her friends, and tries to convince herself out of pain
it just gets tiring to hear
to have to be so near low self esteem

its oddly clear now, but glides easier off the wing
her words although about herself digging in
but then i look at all that is
in my arms
and it's so much more beautiful than I ever imagined
i could have ever believed
it's all here right now with me.....

work, home and the church

work work work
i wish i was at home
tucked away under a warm blanket
like her robe away from robe

please don't eat that i say as i stuff my face
hunger has consumed me
tired embraced my days

working day and night forgivness of my soul
for the pain i've caused to one many times fold
consumed by some guilt that is not driven by religion
but fear perhaps of death and an empty stretch of wisdom

there is way too much to do, but it will never go away
just giveth the best that you can and enjoy the birth of day
try to do it bit by bit piece by piece no oppression
and relax relish the moments god giveth and taketh away

for she is now consumed by the dear lord jesus' death
born again into some church of forgiveness and confusion
it's for the faint of hearted and the easily led he says
and with this i must agree
organized religion is the death of any free thinking liberal society
yet still i pray, have faith and please some day set her free

change

sometimes i wish for a change
in the wind in the weather

though this is my life
in its peaceful in its zone
but when this living
enlivens chaos i freak
know it will pass and be consumed by the calm

sometimes i wish for a death or a birth
for this is life and this too shall grow change die
i can only count on the change

but this is my life these are the people functioning together
we've all got to make it work

guitar song

hostile he grabs and tells me not to play
sneaky she hides behind her percussion and drums
guitar slipping drug world
heroin in your veins
together we walk to the beauty of the beat

it's like this disease we constantly glide
like swiftly on a cloud or a feather
guitar stringed heroine
superwomanstar

ladies of the night strapped in to the light
heavy sexy pick me up
a little to the left
she misses ever so slightly
there's really nothing out west

just more desert and more wind and lots and lots of pain
emptiness and dry wind and it never ever rains
with her guitar in hand she sings to me
another silly song
i close my ears and shutter
but even i have gone away

i'm somewhere back there on the road
somewhere i fell off
this ride and this truck of life

i brush the dust from my brow and look upon her windsheild
we sang the same damn song for a whole week
in some foreign where they only spoke arabic
or french

and i never cried until she died
hollow hole in her arm

i never cried until she stuck the needle
too far gone

i never cried that day she died
strangled by her guitar string

i never cried until she cried
and sang that damn silly song

sullenly

rock harder than you ever did
like in these ambien sex dreams
wishful thinking
trying to hold it all together

who cares what dr. seuss said
how can it possibly apply to your life when
you are constantly looking for approval

and in your glasses you study about sex
listening to Pink Floyd
toungue-tied and twisted
concerned about how you look
eating close to nothing

but the Saga continues, as it only can
because you are trying so hard
to maintain the harmony in your life
so you can fly, you work so hard to fly
because you believe one day you will

and because appearance is important
and your sucked in
when you feel this is right, on certain levels
but wrong when you've sullenly stopped living