i am an island, amidst all this chaos
i am the supplier, you are the earth
salt drying all my rain

i give so you will be free enjoy what giveth to you
what cometh your way
but so many just taketh away just taketh away
sad and lonely and empty
where are your manners child?
28 year old, grown woman
you are not a child.

and i'm angry now
as i always am
the one i wanna be with always seems so far away
though so close
yet so far away
always in the other room.

So, i wait and remember
how i woulda waited forever, but then one day i don't anymore
i get old and i get bored and something else
shiny and new grabs my attention

all the anger you caused me until then floods back in the window
and i'm reminded of what you never gave me
1.2.3.4 times maybe more
and i'm sure it will happen again
when the gleaming new toy promises salvage

I'm so nice this way.....

Excited about the work and the play
if only I could get the sleep out of my eyes, and the dredge out of my throat
and my fingers onto the art
the art but first the muuuuulaaa baby

it's mind over matter, this I already fucking know
so much of my life is this way
me thinks communism has seen its day
but marxist societies spit in your face
supposedly capitalist in their wake
get over it i never had to
i live the positive attitude
who is the one that needs to hear it most

Ecstatic about working and playing
sugar in my cereal bowl can make thee too puffy
all these chemicals make your skin dry
and I still compliment every day
have nice things to say
i'm so nice this way

Let me see what it says on your business card
is that really right today?
what did he write today?
over there on the wall that way?

The captain flashes his badge.
We're so over your bragadocious ways.

I don't know what else to say......

Excited about the work and play

if only I could get the sleep out of my eyes, and the dredge out of my throat

fear takes over this way

On Being Judged and Rejected....

Walking through these days with a handful of sweet gut juice
Leaping through the air, over windswept fears of jealousy and superficial friends
then there is the current fragrance I should just be alone
I am ultimately mostly alone anyway, yet bound by these strong strings
"can you talk?" I know what he means, and I can't help but feel
I traded these in

It's all for the journey "you made all the right moves"
is that not subjective to the person it benefits the most?

I know I did though. For I had to see this through
and disappointment on being judged and rejected
controls me today... and her words ring true You need time. Neediness a reflection of time.
I want her to be right. and the other one saying "You will feel the pain 3 months later." I want her to be wrong.
And I know she is. I feel both right now.

Who controls the time? Who controls the time and space? I wonder not.

All the Fucking Talk

Ladies ladies ladies
all you wanna do is talk talk talk
and shop shop shop
eat, shop, eat shop, and fucking talk

talk about love and process all its glory
hear about my love life and untangle all my stories
I like my life it's mystery, the tangled webs i weave
I like to keep it to myself and hunger for it beneath
I dress myself in the morning and I would rather make the money
than listen to you tell me how love is supposed to be

How can you define a gigantic mystery of love
you're so confused by it, you advertise idiot
magpie he cals it, and it rings true
going to Costco to spend your lunch hour
on hotdogs and super size value packs
no thank you magpie
i'd rather sit here and make money on top of money
than listen to your blathering blabber
go talk up another fucking ladder.

Mongolian Nomad

Saying trading it all for Rock 'n Roll
And dead serious
these mundanities of 9 to 5-ities and HMO health plan-ities
and beauracracies

limited versions of so-called families and no flexibility
and idiodacy friends who stab you once twice three times
not out of spite, but sheer airheaded careless-ness
like leaving the door of your house open so everyone can steal your things
what's really going on bitches?
grow the fuck up

peeling off layer by layer, one by one
I swear one day it will all be gone
it's already almost all gone

and I never really wanted to go there
but comfort and effort for nice things and nice skin
bank accounts and medical plans, I was the only one, everywhere
but the sheer meaness I feel it 'cuz it still spurs
and all the tears I spent on it
little reminders over the years
12 long years

of building something I didn't really believe in
in the end
because it wasn't what it was meant to be
and things aren't always as they seem or as you want them to be

Slowly I won't care anymore
Slowly I won't eat anymore
Slowly I won't itch, cry, breathe, live
So, just fucking let it go, and let it be

In the midst of all this hard work and rain
there is a light and pangs of pain

it comes and goes in waves
and then i remember things like emptiness
and obsession and posession
which scare the living daylights out of me

and i remember it's the freedom i have only
time to gain