ready to be washed

hyperbole under this name
theres too many names on my chain

sitting like relaxing as you walk about your day me leaving you
leaving me leaving you leaving me
we've gotten good at this game

fix it you do under the hood lifting shirts of
oil and wood we smell the sweat that wafts through your garage
parade of unawareness in your body of animalistic shames
they would likely say
its such a disgrace this game of intimacy we play
as humans all of us in one big bag of laundry
ready to be washed

lose your turn

game over
unless you have a get out of jail free card

why do you call me ice queen?
when i giveth and you taketh
taketh away always

giveth something and its your move
i dare you to win the game
i dare to hear your voice
giveth something to make it last
forever

because its about to fade away
and its your move
so roll

bail, inhale, bail,
i outside
you out of jail
everyday
to make it go

when i am incarcerated in your world
i giveth myself and nothing left

so roll, if you dare
or pay the 50
otherwise lose your turn

and i win
game over

child of 5

my child of 5 wants her shower by 7
mommy don't wait until 11

she was there last night
expecting guidance but lost
waiting for mom to get it together

if mom doesn't do this i guess i will have to
god dammit
dear child of 5

no more diapers
why you've grown so tall
mommy i stopped wearing them when i was 1

travelling late at night
train by train we stop
she talks
directs
she's got no choice but to be the boss
crazy mommy i'm particular
my dear child of 5

so smart so cute
my friend

girl, i must be made of steel

the road has been long girl
lets rest now
shall we?
i mean, can we?
really?

girl, i know, sometimes we don't wanna
but it took so long to get here
so much hard work
so many sleepless nights
endless thinking
endless breathing

can we sit back and let them do the rest
let the work speak for itself
aloud

last year i should have cried
but i saved my tears
this year the tears have no fear
and have no place the emptiness has been replaced

by wind or by train the work was not for naught
it was who we are who we were who we wooed
how we lived by the night
the dark candle light dim bar shy boys wanting our girls oh girl
we could be a part of so many worlds
with your hair pinned back like a career girl so smart girl we can be so many things
tight skirt to your knees, we left so many on their knees
begging for just another piece

we've come so far girl
all these miles beneath these high heels
and i don't know how i keep going girl
i must be made of steel

for the road was long and rough and hard
and as i look into the distance
the continued movement of my cars
flight and movement
of my world
as dust sits in my bedroom

so many things we will do girl
so take this moment of stillness in your arms
and don't let it fool you

brainy world

the stuff on those pages makes the pit
big in my nerves in my stomach
pit, shallow breathing, sadness
of a time that i am glad to move past

i wish you the best
you once were my friend
still are somewhere in me within
but i won't try anymore
to force the issue
force my niceness my neediness upon you

needy has faded and left me with jade
forge ahead into the world of books and brains
libraries extensive tither
literary intellect the savior
of my soul

and i was lost so hard trying though it didn't quite fit right
and though it made me lose control and want to throw it to the wind

and i wasn't living right
in the awkard shaped fit it made forcefully tied in place
squirming unable to stand behind any words that are true to me
saying what i meant but unable to seal the bank
of truth in my honor

i say these words to no one
i am silent quiet but knowing
the days months long past are cold
thank god for this brainy world
-m.g.wilson

"take me in
no questions asked
the life i left behind me is a cold one"
-sarah mclaughlin

because you're almost full

so now i made a little note
a mental note
the scene is done
tired
old

my youth was fun
next stage welcome

work your heart out little girl
this job is kicking my ass

sometimes you have got to give it a last whirl
even if you don't feel it quite like before
because you're almost full
but if you take a break the hunger may return
so you think maybe

finish off that last piece
bite it until it's gone
forever
into the belly of your past

we had fun lil girls didn't we?
we had too much fun on many levels
but some left us empty
now that tank is full
of crap

half empty half full
more or less
it had meaning back then
so we thought
but doesn't quite seem to fit now

like a snake sheds its skin
or an onion
those words still ringing in my ears
for over a year

trying to let go
but always looking back
with a smile of sadness
turn around say my new friends
as they grab my hands
lets walk together into the forest
that is the future

marcy

so now i talk about myself
to marcy

we talk about
things like women
and love

smart girls earn it
pretty girls live it
desparate girls die alone

we all die alone i remind her
she reminds me its time to move on

in not so many words
taking a break she doesn't want to step on my toes
push her advice on me
yes, it's a technique i too know
all too well

and i appreciate it
subtlety
because i can read between the lines
sometimes too well and to my detriment
so i live my life perhaps in riddle
somewhere aware of the body
not so much the words
though that is what comes out
of me
most of the time
anyway

and those who cannot right now
interpret
take a hint
drink some gin and live in the abstract
are not in my venue

gradually exposing their dim ditz
just different
they say its honesty
i say
it's denial

wake up and smell the coffee that is brewing in your own kitchen
ladies
or else stupidity sweetheart may slap lips somewhere between
ass and feeling good just in the moment