she's just busy

i'm over the wishing well.
the biltmore bravmore hopemore stale
when i'm here because the health of my soul is well
a plane that the lipstick ladies panty parties did not bode me
sure i miss and i envitize and wanna answer every call and be social and
free and sunshine gal, many late nights every night who wouldn't wanna be
everyday laughter and wine outdoor festivals and parties
and the disappointment in your voice that maybe i don't hear
or maybe i do
that i just can't let settle
"she's just busy, she's just busy"

i've had to pick my battles, my priorities
but in the end i'm happy
in the end i'm happy
that i didn't keep going until 7am
that i wasn't fighting the demons at 10am
that i'm not sitting around anxious and confused
needing a glass of wine everynight and a fluctuating social life
she's just busy

and though my existence to you seems a series of arms-length friendships
to me they're more, mean more, you're more, though i don't see you every day
i don't need to and this you know
and sometimes i guess it doesn't settle well with you, you'll settle for seeing every few months for a blow out party extravaganza, she's just busy you tell yourself, you know i'm still around, you know i'll always be around

because i reside with my soul
settled in this cove
of course i'm still trying to make it all work
because i identify as something slightly else