An Old Man

You pouting your lips befuddled and overthinking
and I think to myself I love you old man
You once were a baby,  I knew you in your youth
but not really that long
it must have been a dream
a distant memory
of when you were saddled and crazy
manic and hazy
crashing your self into lazy
upon lazy
I managed to know you and get over the untruth and see you for you
and now you're old
where did the time go?

You once were a flamboyant flaming raving mad lunatic
annoying and disheveled
but now you've come into your own
the side that I love is coming through more and more
and Ahhh I see now it's an armor
that I find sexy
a way that is undeniably you

Fucking Old

You can't help who you love
They hold up the sky while we piss down below
They love us in their emptiness their sorrow
They love us even if they've nowhere to go

 You can't help who you love
the ones who suffer in their empty hearts
who salvage inside your depressed and calloused soul
still loving empty lonely hair pulling girl
you can't help who you love

 Tonight I'm going to find some lesbians
Tonight I'm going to find the ladies
Eating babies in Los Angeles

 You can't help who you love
the water is falling from above
the sky is ripping apart in pieces
he's sitting on his carcass

He can't help me, he can't help who he loves.
 Somedays love turns to love
in love and dripping blood

Somedays all you need is a hug
Most days love is too much of a drug

Isolation and despair take hold
the lonely cloudy days I can no longer take
empty as the day is long the night is dark
and my world is falling apart

 There is too much time and life is too fucking long
You can't help who you love
It's a fucking shame and it's getting fucking old.
I'm so tired of this rigmarole.

We're all artists

We're all artists in this town
In the same boat
You and I
Whether you've succumbed to the 9 to 5
or you live in a cardboard box
We're all artists
You and I

We're all creators in this scene
Friends of mine
I don't see you very often
But a blurb here and there
about a show, a success of some other
I see you
I hear you
I applaud you

We're all struggling to make our mark
We're all struggling to make a dime
We're all working hard all the time
On our craft
For our lives
It's not easy for you and I
I need more sleep most of the time

But somedays I strike a balance between creation and art
And to that end I'm working honing that part

We're all trying yes we are
We are all slaves to the sound
We're all working the day around
Hoping someday we'll be found

I No Longer Desire Things Like A Child

The sky opened up today
As you spoke those words I'd heard so many times before
But In the light of this new day.

I'm sorry I'm not in love like before
But not sorry those days were cloudy confused desperate
Today so clear these skies
Not a single cloud in my eye.

Your steadfast strength
I cannot own
Nor do I wish to anymore
By your side
I hope to help you rise

This is the 2nd half of my life.

You still make me cry
Tears spill from my eyes
But it's just the old stuffs I say
The fears of our old deaths
Trauma seeps in
I still dream of you at night
And dream about a life of ours
But things are different now
I no longer desire things like a child


Except to live my life the way I've got to do
Within me inside you if it means 


Things are different now
Time to see things in a different light.

Saving of Souls and Lives

On saving these souls our souls our lives
I've got to save us from your own demise
Traffic and ties
Ladies of the night
I'd say it's about time
Before we cross the line
Never to come back
Never to go home

Music and cycles
Planets that move
stories and projects
and subtle things groove

I've got to find us and reach deep inside
I've got to gather us out of this pride
Because in the end I need this also
to save my life

Gay is Rock 'n' Roll but better.

Visions of power lesbians dance in my head
The Mormons, the Prostitutes and some Rock 'n' Roll

She says
The straight men are all just upset
The gay men are out having all the fun
Having all the sex
Always getting laid.

If only they could decipher the anger, I say

Except the rock n roll guys they get the best of both worlds
Dress up like women and fuck who they want
Do what they want
She says.

I say, gay is Rock 'n' Roll but better.
Gay has always been better.

In these days my photo will change
As I will wear more chains and more chains
And he points says I came across different
He kinda thought he was alone
I've been feeling this way for years
Since I started
Airy-fairy hippy-dippy sexology is not my style
From the mountain towns
Gay atheist educators, we're from downtown
But I don't say this out loud.
Don't want to offend the others by being too proud.
But

Me too, I think, as a creator I don't need to say it out loud.

Pretending I'm Brave

I'm not brave
If I was I'd be somewhere out in the cold
Maybe not alone
Braving with my soul

But I'm not brave
I've nestled down and playing a role
one which I abhor

I'm not brave
I'm not adored
on the contrary
faking it
when I'm really bored

Cozy little family
You don't really love me
How could you?
You don't even know me
Everyone just going along

Consumed by woes of credit and taxes
of paychecks and masses
shielding ourselves with maskes
laxes Demascus Rose.

I'm so not brave, just confident with airs
and the gift of gab
well spoken with an air of royalty
and the gift of gab.

I'll probably have a drink and let the moon do it's duty
And then I'll probably sink into a heavy sleep.
Nothing will change and I'll continue to pretend that I'm brave.