one year ago

August 28, 2005

All residents of New Orleans are being requested to evacuate the city immediately. The storm has been increased to a category 5.

i feel you

i feel you staring at me
i know you are watching me
but for some reason i can't turn my head

some days i'm famous
i walk into the grocery store
and they are there watching me
aren't you she? indeed that is me

i feel you your pain
your life built by your mother
though she aged she left you didn't she
hanging without epiphany

my empty bare words linger in your ear
your anger shrill confusion still buzzing in mine

sometimes i am cold i don't know where it comes from
i am from the north and the south all at once and i pierce
your soul when i leave
penetrate your entity when you can no longer have me

i am strong brave but blank with nothing to give you

i get paid

the lady she cried yesterday
i feel you your pain
your children everyone scattered you say
went in many directions and you cry all alone
when you throw away things like chairs and tables and sofa
and i feel you your pain
but what i don't say is the opportunity to start anew
i sense freedom in your shoes

and so it goes day after day
and i don't take it home
don't talk about it much
where i sit cold
but sometimes i recognize the warmth

it has rewarded me

through the woods. find your food your good your footing

do we live
in vocation-ville
indeed to have a skill
on which to build
a life a living a craft a will

sometimes we spill our dreams
into one pill
and perform a disappearing act
when it falls ill
one thing won't do
versatility is the key to survival
the skilled man a thing of our past?

learn your rituals living in rural
take them to the big lake
where you are no longer the big fish
in a big pond
does it make you safe anxious awake
or is it all the same play on a different stage

you decide
for its your life
though your parents only want what is best for you
they know some but not all of you
they don't always know what is best for you
sometimes you must forge your own way
through the woods. find your food your good your footing
find the you that is best for the world in its place
where it is today
with you as the missing piece of some obscure puzzle

ready to be washed

hyperbole under this name
theres too many names on my chain

sitting like relaxing as you walk about your day me leaving you
leaving me leaving you leaving me
we've gotten good at this game

fix it you do under the hood lifting shirts of
oil and wood we smell the sweat that wafts through your garage
parade of unawareness in your body of animalistic shames
they would likely say
its such a disgrace this game of intimacy we play
as humans all of us in one big bag of laundry
ready to be washed

lose your turn

game over
unless you have a get out of jail free card

why do you call me ice queen?
when i giveth and you taketh
taketh away always

giveth something and its your move
i dare you to win the game
i dare to hear your voice
giveth something to make it last
forever

because its about to fade away
and its your move
so roll

bail, inhale, bail,
i outside
you out of jail
everyday
to make it go

when i am incarcerated in your world
i giveth myself and nothing left

so roll, if you dare
or pay the 50
otherwise lose your turn

and i win
game over

child of 5

my child of 5 wants her shower by 7
mommy don't wait until 11

she was there last night
expecting guidance but lost
waiting for mom to get it together

if mom doesn't do this i guess i will have to
god dammit
dear child of 5

no more diapers
why you've grown so tall
mommy i stopped wearing them when i was 1

travelling late at night
train by train we stop
she talks
directs
she's got no choice but to be the boss
crazy mommy i'm particular
my dear child of 5

so smart so cute
my friend

girl, i must be made of steel

the road has been long girl
lets rest now
shall we?
i mean, can we?
really?

girl, i know, sometimes we don't wanna
but it took so long to get here
so much hard work
so many sleepless nights
endless thinking
endless breathing

can we sit back and let them do the rest
let the work speak for itself
aloud

last year i should have cried
but i saved my tears
this year the tears have no fear
and have no place the emptiness has been replaced

by wind or by train the work was not for naught
it was who we are who we were who we wooed
how we lived by the night
the dark candle light dim bar shy boys wanting our girls oh girl
we could be a part of so many worlds
with your hair pinned back like a career girl so smart girl we can be so many things
tight skirt to your knees, we left so many on their knees
begging for just another piece

we've come so far girl
all these miles beneath these high heels
and i don't know how i keep going girl
i must be made of steel

for the road was long and rough and hard
and as i look into the distance
the continued movement of my cars
flight and movement
of my world
as dust sits in my bedroom

so many things we will do girl
so take this moment of stillness in your arms
and don't let it fool you

brainy world

the stuff on those pages makes the pit
big in my nerves in my stomach
pit, shallow breathing, sadness
of a time that i am glad to move past

i wish you the best
you once were my friend
still are somewhere in me within
but i won't try anymore
to force the issue
force my niceness my neediness upon you

needy has faded and left me with jade
forge ahead into the world of books and brains
libraries extensive tither
literary intellect the savior
of my soul

and i was lost so hard trying though it didn't quite fit right
and though it made me lose control and want to throw it to the wind

and i wasn't living right
in the awkard shaped fit it made forcefully tied in place
squirming unable to stand behind any words that are true to me
saying what i meant but unable to seal the bank
of truth in my honor

i say these words to no one
i am silent quiet but knowing
the days months long past are cold
thank god for this brainy world
-m.g.wilson

"take me in
no questions asked
the life i left behind me is a cold one"
-sarah mclaughlin